Some very bad people to make as enemies more or less destroyed my life through various means if I told the true extent of this story and what transpired it would read like a book or a bad movie, there really isn't much of a point, I just happened to piss off some very well connected people with the means to see a life destroyed. I also fell into a cleverly planned trap to antagonize them due to a clever trick done by a hacker or hackers. I was hit listed by some very bad people to make as enemies. Due to the nature of everything I broke under the stress and pain of it all and started acting irrational which made it worse. At this point in time I am just waiting for the end so to speak. The outcome is clear I will choose my own death over what these people have planned for me. It's a strange feeling knowing you're going to be dead soon. At first I was scared, I guess a still small part of me is, but then you become calm and a part of you is already in the world of the dead so to speak it's hard to describe the feeling but you no longer feel a part of the living. They found the perfect target I was already looking for a place to die, I've been alone and isolated my whole life. The two things I wanted most peace and love I never have been able to get. I guess that's the worst part of being the eternal outcast you are condemned in darkness to see others have light knowing you will never see such a light of happiness. That pain pierces your very soul. Not to mention the terrible emptiness you feel inside, it's like a black hole. Another part of me looks forward to dying I've been in pain my whole life not being able to have a life other people seem to be able to have so easily. I stand utterly helpless against the forces against me, it's like a natural disaster. I think wanting it to end lead me down my path of destruction. I think my biggest regret is never having had the chance to love and be loved without love humans are nothing but empty beings. An existence without love is a pointless one. Utterly alone without hope surrounded by powerful enemies who want to crush you utterly and without mercy, a perspective I hope none of you on this message board have to experience. I've spent hours reading your various posts all I have to say is you people still have hope to live meaningful lives so treasure the lives you do have they will get better if you work to improve them. Take it from one of the dead who is without hope there truly is still hope for you people. Why I bother to share this, well after reading many of the posts here I just felt like commenting and telling you people still have hope to live a better life don't end it so suddenly. Sadly in my case the enemies I've made intend to destroy me utterly and without mercy it is what it is, there is no rhyme nor reason to life stuff just happens. I wish you all the best and I hope you stop a minute to think before you decide to act and realize how precious your lives really are don't waste them.