That's what I feel like doing. I don't really know how to describe this feeling other than to say it's an overwhelming desire to cause harm to myself. I'll feel like this sometimes, then the cold feeling of depression will sink in and I'll feel like killing myself anyway. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I am familiar with the down periods... The violent urges directed at myself are rather new, though. When I get these, I just imagine myself being killed over and over. I feel like hitting myself and sometimes I do, but for the most part I can resist. They keep getting worse and I don't think I'll be able to hold out.