i need some advice seriously,
it may sound silly and petty but i am on the verge of giving up the one person in my life that makes me smile because he refuses to do 'standard' things.
As in standard, well this is simple, basic cleaning up after himself, just putting stuff away, helping around the house a bit.
It sounds silly i know, but he will take everything out he wants and leave it everywhere, so i end up doing it.
He seems quiet happy to live like this, but its making me so depressed.
I have never lived like this, now i feel like im living in a squat, im embarassed to have people here, none of my friends come round anymore.
Ive tried asking him, begging him,pleading him, getting mad with him, everything i can think of but he just stays in bed and ignores me.
This morning i had people comming and all i asked him to do was to take the pots out, consider that litteraly the place was a tip, tyres and chewd slippers in the front room, rubbish all over the floor, dog food scatterd everywhere,, poo and wee al over the kitchen from the puppies,torn newspaper and dirty clothes, his cables everywhere, no surface free of rubbish, dust, muck and grime. butter left out jam, peanut butter, all with no tops on left on the computer desk, its like having a teenager in the house only if i say anything he just walks away.
i got up at 8 knowing id have to start cleaning, got downstairs and nothing had been touched, not only that but it was worse (if thats possible) than when i left it.
i cleaned for 4 hours solid, getting the place sorted, seathing underneath and so upset i kept crying,,,
he stayed in bed, when i did ask him to get up he chucked the dog downstairs and dissappeared again while i dealt with the other dog, who ran off when i let him out. i was just angry by this point and shouted at my b/f, who basicly did what he always does and just left.
i cant believe it has got this bad
i wouldnt mind but he doesnt even help with the bills and the general day to day living, he acts like its beneathe him and too mundane yet really its just he cant be botherd and wants everyone else to do it for him.
hed rather sit up all night playing computer games and stay in bed all day leaving me to deal with everything.
he has no drive to do anything else, i do all sorts of stuff and i want him to join in and get enthused about doing things, he used to when we first got together,, now he just doesnt care, he doesnt want to do anything with me, he isnt intrested in living life.
he lost his job before christmas and rather than find one made it so i had to sell the one other thing i cared about in my life in order to keep the house.
then got a job for a few weeks and even though i said that he needed to look for a permanant one he didnt and again we are in the situation where we are about to loose the house, this time i had to give up somthing else i realy wanted just to keep going for a week,,
i dont want to loose him, i want the person back i thought/he showed me he was, not this,,,,,
i hate feeling like this as i love him so much,,
it may sound silly and petty but i am on the verge of giving up the one person in my life that makes me smile because he refuses to do 'standard' things.
As in standard, well this is simple, basic cleaning up after himself, just putting stuff away, helping around the house a bit.
It sounds silly i know, but he will take everything out he wants and leave it everywhere, so i end up doing it.
He seems quiet happy to live like this, but its making me so depressed.
I have never lived like this, now i feel like im living in a squat, im embarassed to have people here, none of my friends come round anymore.
Ive tried asking him, begging him,pleading him, getting mad with him, everything i can think of but he just stays in bed and ignores me.
This morning i had people comming and all i asked him to do was to take the pots out, consider that litteraly the place was a tip, tyres and chewd slippers in the front room, rubbish all over the floor, dog food scatterd everywhere,, poo and wee al over the kitchen from the puppies,torn newspaper and dirty clothes, his cables everywhere, no surface free of rubbish, dust, muck and grime. butter left out jam, peanut butter, all with no tops on left on the computer desk, its like having a teenager in the house only if i say anything he just walks away.
i got up at 8 knowing id have to start cleaning, got downstairs and nothing had been touched, not only that but it was worse (if thats possible) than when i left it.
i cleaned for 4 hours solid, getting the place sorted, seathing underneath and so upset i kept crying,,,
he stayed in bed, when i did ask him to get up he chucked the dog downstairs and dissappeared again while i dealt with the other dog, who ran off when i let him out. i was just angry by this point and shouted at my b/f, who basicly did what he always does and just left.
i cant believe it has got this bad
i wouldnt mind but he doesnt even help with the bills and the general day to day living, he acts like its beneathe him and too mundane yet really its just he cant be botherd and wants everyone else to do it for him.
hed rather sit up all night playing computer games and stay in bed all day leaving me to deal with everything.
he has no drive to do anything else, i do all sorts of stuff and i want him to join in and get enthused about doing things, he used to when we first got together,, now he just doesnt care, he doesnt want to do anything with me, he isnt intrested in living life.
he lost his job before christmas and rather than find one made it so i had to sell the one other thing i cared about in my life in order to keep the house.
then got a job for a few weeks and even though i said that he needed to look for a permanant one he didnt and again we are in the situation where we are about to loose the house, this time i had to give up somthing else i realy wanted just to keep going for a week,,
i dont want to loose him, i want the person back i thought/he showed me he was, not this,,,,,
i hate feeling like this as i love him so much,,