Since I came here I've come to care very deeply about two other members here. Neither one seems to know how much I truely care and hurt inside for them. Both have said that I have helped them but sadly it turns out this sn't true. One has returned to self harm behaviors and the other seems to have pushed me away and may be about to make a big mistake in her life and I can't do anything about it. Last night was so bad that as I sat here some real tears came out and fell on my keyboard. And today as prepared to take a shower, huge amounts of hair fell out. I didn't even make the connection at first but it seems it's related to the stress of what's going out with these two that I care about so much. My heart fells like it been placed between two bricks then smashed.