Tears, Pain, and No Piece of Mind

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thepainwithin, Jul 20, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. thepainwithin

    thepainwithin Well-Known Member

    I can't sleep tonight, go figure. My mind is racing at 1000 thoughts a second, I tried not to let the thought of me having to go to court tomorrow keep me awake, but, like it always does, one bad thought spiralled into another and now I'm having random boughts of crying and thoughts of suicide, I can't stop listening to Nutshell by Alice in Chains.

    ("And yet I fight, And yet I fight this battle all Alone, No one to cry to, No place to call home."
    I can't stop listening to Layne's words because I feel like he knew me, every single one of his songs has a bit of truth about me. The life of a helpless drug addict seems glamorous from down here :/.)

    But these thoughts of tomorrow only bring up the spiral downward, I feel like I had a gun I could just pull the trigger no thoughts, swallow a bottle of pills and just get it over with all ready. I sat inside all day today in my basement and couldn't even move from my bed, I didn't wanna get up and I didn't wanna face the day. Why can't I just be normal? Why can't I just have someone in my life that loves me and can tell me everything is going to be ok? I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself.

    "And I find, And I find, Repeating in my head, If I can't be my own, I feel better dead" :/
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I have no idea what's going on or why you have to go to court tomorrow. But I hope it goes okay. I know how it is, when you're trying to sleep and your mind works overtime. It feels like you're fighting a losing battle sometimes.

    I'm around a lot, so you can PM me if you ever feel like talking. You don't have to go through this alone.
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey I know what it like to just have dread about the next day and I know about just being paralyzed and staying in bed. I am around if you can't sleep...we just chat or talk about ways to maybe get life back on track.
    Either way good luck in court tomorrow and if you get anxious there just remember when it is done you can come right back here and will take care of you.
    Let me know if you want to chat or something.
    Also I play in the threads in coffee house when I can not sleep..
  4. BlondRedHead

    BlondRedHead Well-Known Member

    Ah, silly goose. Tomorrow (today your time) will be fine. You are going to be alright no matter what the outcome. I'm sorry you can't sleep, me either but not for any reason such as your own. When u r down like you have been come online and TALK TO US, we care obviously and you don't have to spend the day moping around your room wondering where all your friends have gone to. I think you need to just get some sleep, have a huge ass cup of coffee tomorrow and remember it's not the end of the world. Write me when you get back, let me know ur alright :)
  5. am I alive

    am I alive Well-Known Member

    Oh i like that song,I am the greatest fan of Layne and AIC:biggrin: I've passed through my darkest hourst listening to AIC, that made my pain a little bit more bearable. Hope you doing ok, i am here if you wanna talk:)
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Good luck with court!! When you get back we will be here to support yoou.. You have already made some friends here and they worry..If you can't sleep don't try to force it, get up and do something physical for about an hour and then go back to bed.. Trying to force sleep only frustrates you and makes it harder to nod off..
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.