Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by 41021, Sep 17, 2010.

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  1. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    I cannot survive another person killing themselves.
    Far too many already.
    I don't have it in me :no:
    Honest, truly, i do not have the strength....
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hope you get a break from that awful cycle and know that we are truly glad you are here...big hugs, J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sometime it is better to step away from all the pain around you and get out and do something that will bring you joy okay. Try not to get so overwhelmed here okay it can be quite painful so you need to protect yourself first and most okay take care
  4. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Thank you both. :hug:

    It's not just here...family members and friends as well :sad: What i mean by this, I've lost so many to suicide.

    I think the stress has just finally caught up with me.

    I try not to questions these types of things but when i'm exhausted so many questions fill my mind.

    Thank you for the support, it's very much appreciated.

  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I don't know what to say Kali but sending you :arms:
  6. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    Kali, Violet is right. You should get away from the pain for awhile, and experience some joy in your life.
  7. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    funny, if you knew my life's work, what it is committed too, you would understand the goodness that surrounds me... This life i have created. Wouldn't even know how to explain it.

    ...but there are moments, like now, ***tears*** where my soul hits such a dark spot. Don't know how to explain it, wish i did. ***hugs***

    Thank you all...helps to connect.

  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Sorry to hear that you have lost so many family members and friends to suicide Kali. I also hope and pray that no more SF members give up and commit suicide. :hug:
  9. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    Kali, i cant possibly understand how it must be to be in your shoes, i have not yet lost someone close to me.. I meself am very carefull about who i let in to my life, i have pushed away and cut of all contacts to every single person who i ever was close with, every friend or even relative because i am not able to hold up that contact or have some sort of feelings for them. This made me very numb, i have very litle feeling left and stopped caring, which is a sad and terible thing where i should be ashamed off. Close people around me simply cant "die" because they do not exist anymore in my life. Because i have pulled meself into my litle black hole where no contact exist i dont even get to know if one of my "old" or "former" friends get sick or something, i dont have have an working cellphone. Yeah i know im a bastard for this. But you on the other hand keep caring for everyone. Every time you feel like you have a litle bit strength you are here trying to help others. I recieve your messages wenn i least expect them, even at times where you are not feeling very well yourself. I presume you are no different in your life outside of this cyberworld, your real life. This only shows what kind of a great person you are. I could not do this in my condition. Losing someone is very hard to deal with, but it is important to understand that it was not your fault, you have been there for them till their last day and the way you are dealing with these losses, as seen here in this tread shows how much you care about each one of them. I on the other had have not been there for many people in bad times. I only want you to know that i have great respect for you. I hope you do not have to experience another casualty in your enviroment. You do not deserve this. What i am trying to say is, that like you i can not deal with losses, but unlike you i take the "easy path" where you have allways cared about everybody. this is something you can be proud of. *HUG*
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 18, 2010
  10. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

  11. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Wanted to send each of you my *biggest hugs* ever and thank all of you individually...can't at moment, not doing well...sending. from phone. Xxx love you all *tears* so very much my special family. Xxxxxxxxxxxx
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope today is better for you kali i know sometime the deep sadness comes out of no where and it hurts but try okay to do something kind for you. The pain it is hard to let go of but i know the ones you lost would not want this sadness for you. Tears are good though if they need to flow let them flow out grieving is like that sometimes it comes on without warning so don't fight it okay cry a bit then move on okay and do something kind for you to help alleviate all the sadness :hugtackles:
  13. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    But I can't stop as hard as I try :no:

  14. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    sending you hugs Kali..:hug::hug::arms:
  15. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    gawd, i'm so sorry. I'm not finding my strength :no:
    all i[m finding are these tears and wanting...
    im' not even sure what i am wanting but those things going through my mind,
    the things that have stifled me, which have turned me to behaviors so unlike myself...i just can't fight it :no:

    **holding all of you in my heart, the best i can**
  16. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    my head is killing me...and i never get headaches but it hurts sooo much
    not eaten in days
    not left this room
    i'm not one to stay in bed for any reason...
    active, doing, etc
    but i can't do it.
    just **tears**
    and screaming at the freaking universe
  17. Shezz

    Shezz Member

    Please hold on. (crying)

    I'm feeling like that too, a little. But don't lose hope.

    I'm here for you. WE'RE here for you.

    Just one more day. Say it with me. JUST ONE MORE DAY.

    Say it every day, and the pain will ease, bit by bit.

    ONE MORE DAY. It's a victory for you. As it is for me.

    One more day.

  18. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    just one more day... **hugs** for you i said it...I'll keep trying to say it but there is a voice in my head;

    except not if they are identical to the ones i've been having
  19. FreedbyGrace

    FreedbyGrace New Member

    Kali, I can't imagine having lost so many loved ones to suicide. I empathize with you. I just wanted to say that it is alright for you to ask questions and feel sad about what has happened. If you ignore the negative feelings, they have the potential to consume you. But if you acknowledge those feelings, you allow yourself to grow stronger because if it.
    I wish you the best.
  20. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we love you.
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