So damn close once again. Today I cant describe the emptiness. Death was so close! It's all I can see and feel now. Teased by people who pretended to be friends. Teased by those pretending to care. Teased by my own belief that nothing was going to go wrong this time. Teased by all the meds sitting right in front of me on the computer desk. Teased by death itself. Please I'm so so tired on every level that one can be tired. I want that rest now. It's all I see and think about today. Please, please stop teasing me and just let me die.