Tech Support

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Terry, Jan 28, 2009.

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  1. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct
    slowdown in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower
    and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend

    In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
    Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs
    such as World Cup; Snooker; Basketball and Golf Clubs

    Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the
    system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no

    What can I do?

    Signed, Desperate


    Dear Desperate,

    First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while
    Husband is an Operating System.

    Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try
    to download Tears and don't forget to install the Guilt update. If
    that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically
    run the applications Jewelry and Flowers.

    But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband to
    default to Grumpy Silence, Happy Hour or Beer.

    Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta program.

    Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the
    background that will eventually seize control of all your system

    Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program.
    These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

    In summary, Husband is a great program, but it does have limited
    memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
    You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and

    We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie

    Good Luck,

    Tech Support
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    What can I say :rofl:
  3. lake1989

    lake1989 Well-Known Member

    Great :laugh:
  4. Lazer_teeth

    Lazer_teeth Well-Known Member

    ok im no pro so if your computer does low uo murko! is in no way at fault. Just kidding but still got to slip in the disclaimer.
    I use these 4 free programs
    1.Spybot - Search & Destroy 1.6.2

    2. Ad-Aware Anniversary Edition 8.0

    3. first uninstall your anti virus prog
    then install Click Here
    AVG Anti-Virus Free Edition 8.0.176

    4. this is a new one i started using great if u use vista but more importantly it has a registry cleaner.

    run em all separately and of course update em b4 you do run em. your comp my be shutting down cause of a virus. so unplug the internet when you run these progs after updated and separately. finally hit your box with a good ol frag when your done. pm me if u need help but ive made comps last almost a decade with good maintenance. oh and if its just shuting down you may want to get a can of compressed heat and a screw driver and blow the dust from the fan in the power supply and the processor.
    good luck !
  5. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    The other side?

    The other side of the story... :tongue:

    Girlfriend 6.0 vs. Wife 1.0
    Comparative Trial

    Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources available for other applications. He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

    Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

    Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.

    1. a "Don't remind me again" button
    2. a Minimize button
    3. An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources
    4. An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the system's hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

    I myself decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 7.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 7.0 on top of Girlfriend 6.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 6.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 6.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.


    Bug Warning

    Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

    Bug work-arounds: To avoid this bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.


    Tech Support Suggestions

    These are very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities & Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is indeed an operating system and designed by its creator to run everything.

    It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 6.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 6.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 6.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

    Some have tried to install Girlfriend 7.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

    I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of Luck,
    Tech Support
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