teenage drama?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by NooSenseFantastika, Jan 9, 2008.

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  1. NooSenseFantastika

    NooSenseFantastika Well-Known Member

    Usually on a skool day i get 5-6 hours of sleep a day, and on weekends i get 9-10 wen i get depressed i sleep more, and when i get suicidal i sleep even more, i cant sleep off my depression but i can (for some reason) sleep away my suicidal thoughts, good deal there right? Well for the past year ive had on again off again writers block, im used to that cuz sometimes my mind wants to draw, but i havent been able to be any kind of creative lately. I feel into a deep depression about a week ago, at the same time my writers block lifted so ive been randomly thinking up songs and poems and stories. So at first i was like ok good i can write my feelings out and sleep my bad thoughts away and thisll be over in no time...well, this depression has turned into a suicidal depression and in the past 8 days ive goten a total of 9 hours of sleep, no not per day...for the entire 8 days, im getings 1-2 sometimes 0 hours a sleep per night, and now schools started up again. Im so tired and my depression is worsining from the trickary of fate. My mind, heart, and soul are all in agreement for the first time in my entire 17 years of excistance that suicide is the only way to get to sleep, the only way ill get to sleep a true sleep again, nothing in my being is fighting these thoughts for i have no energy to fight my own demons right now, and honestly my family, and friends (even the online ones) all notice a difference in me, yet im alone, well not quite my demons are here as always louder than ever, my head hurts with a dull pain, my eyes are dry and puffy, and my thoughts are all distorted, i want to sleep.

    and no sleeping pills dont work, and neither do any of the niquill and whatevers
    doctor prescribed sleepmeds help but my doc appointment is next week, and i doubt i can make it another day.
     
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't give up noosense, just because you're not getting enough sleep. You're young and have your whole life ahead of you.
     
  3. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    I like your sig.

    Is the lack of sleep the only problem? Why can't you sleep? Insomnia?
     
  4. NooSenseFantastika

    NooSenseFantastika Well-Known Member

    i have insomnia, but usually i can deal with it cuz it was more being noctornel cuz i could sleep during the day and i can funtion on atleast 3 hours sleep but lately im not even geting that
     
  5. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    What's actually keeping you from getting as much sleep as you used to?
     
  6. NooSenseFantastika

    NooSenseFantastika Well-Known Member

    a combination of my depression coming back and my writing block coming down
     
  7. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    Hah! Those moments before sleep are very fertile for the imagination. A writer should cherish them. Keep lots of note paper handy by your bed and if you can't get enough sleep at night, try to take naps in the day... sometimes that is easier.
     
  8. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Lack of sleep contributes to depression, your mind and body don't get the rest they need and you become, well, restless. If you write and your brain doesn't get the rest it needs you won't be able to think properly. I'd say try setting a bedtime for yourself and forcing yourself to meet it, even if you don't feel sleepy. The body isn't meant to function on 3 hours of sleep, if you've gotten used to it it's a habit you probably want to think about breaking.
     
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