Usually on a skool day i get 5-6 hours of sleep a day, and on weekends i get 9-10 wen i get depressed i sleep more, and when i get suicidal i sleep even more, i cant sleep off my depression but i can (for some reason) sleep away my suicidal thoughts, good deal there right? Well for the past year ive had on again off again writers block, im used to that cuz sometimes my mind wants to draw, but i havent been able to be any kind of creative lately. I feel into a deep depression about a week ago, at the same time my writers block lifted so ive been randomly thinking up songs and poems and stories. So at first i was like ok good i can write my feelings out and sleep my bad thoughts away and thisll be over in no time...well, this depression has turned into a suicidal depression and in the past 8 days ive goten a total of 9 hours of sleep, no not per day...for the entire 8 days, im getings 1-2 sometimes 0 hours a sleep per night, and now schools started up again. Im so tired and my depression is worsining from the trickary of fate. My mind, heart, and soul are all in agreement for the first time in my entire 17 years of excistance that suicide is the only way to get to sleep, the only way ill get to sleep a true sleep again, nothing in my being is fighting these thoughts for i have no energy to fight my own demons right now, and honestly my family, and friends (even the online ones) all notice a difference in me, yet im alone, well not quite my demons are here as always louder than ever, my head hurts with a dull pain, my eyes are dry and puffy, and my thoughts are all distorted, i want to sleep. and no sleeping pills dont work, and neither do any of the niquill and whatevers doctor prescribed sleepmeds help but my doc appointment is next week, and i doubt i can make it another day.