Hello currently I am suffering from suicidal feelings because during my life time from kindergarden until now 10th grade I have been assaulted in beatings and has really ruined my self-esteem almost completely and the fact that all my friends just watch me there getting beat up and not helping makes me feel even more like trash like im not valued at all and when they look at me afterwards they laugh like as if i were a disgrace,my parents don't really understand how I feel and i don't think they care about me they call me names in another language making fun of me and thinking i don't understand it but i do,i've never really had a girlfriend and i can't even interact with people that much,at home from school i just lock myself up and cry and i lost interest in many things i used to enjoy due to the fact my grades just suddenly dropped very low i've never talked to anyone about this cause i know help i don't know why i had to experience this now and im only 14 y/o plz help