I've been around long enough to know that nothing is truly permanent except death. But this is as close as it gets. My relationship with her has shattered, and it hurts like fucking hell. I know rationally that it's for the best and she's just one person in my life and she still loves me and thinks about me and all that. But the emotions are kicking the rational mind's ass pretty hard right now. All I can think about is that she's not a part of my life anymore and won't be. At least not for a really long time and not in the same way. I still love her so much. Fuck, this is painful. I know I have reasons to live, but that doesn't mean I don't have a reason to die too.