In the past month I have been contacted by my molester when i was a child. I have been repeatedly used and abandoned by my bestfriend. I have relapsed on my ed and cutting. And I was getting through it. I was being strong. Then in 24 hours I am crushed to the ground. I was pregnant. I was happy. I was in love. Then last night I tell someone i'm keeping it. I misscarry 10 minutes later. I'm miserable and I feel empty and like a murderer. But then, my bestfriend who i let live with me is supposed to go with me to the doctor comes home with her boyfriend, whom i hate, saying "oh didn't i tell you i couldn't go." Then screaming at me when I get angry saying i'm immature and that she brought her bf to drive me, completely contridicting what she had said. And then, i write on my livejournal. that only two close people can read. saying that i misscarried. One responds : i love you, but you can't even take care of yourself. the fact that you would bring a child into this world makes you incredibly selfish. you may think having a baby would be cool or whatever, but its not. not using condoms is STUPID and youre a fucking IDIOT for doing so. i have lost a lot of respect for you because of this. I have never felt this low. I have no idea what to do. I am completely empty. I can not feel at all.