Telling my boyfriend?

[skysunsand]

I am depressed, and I know it. I've got some sort of severe depression, and I've been off my meds for a long time...it just seems to be coming back now with the stress of college and everything. I can't focus, I can't really make myself feel at all motivated..it's really starting to wear me down immensely, and people are starting to notice I'm quieter and there are dark circles around my eyes from me not sleeping.
It's been significantly harder to hide it from my boyfriend lately. I don't know how I can explain to him how I feel or anything like that....my feeling is that he'd somehow blame himself, or that it would jeopardize our relationship. But even when I've been with him lately, it hasn't helped my inner hurt like it usually does. I just feel like crying and curling into a little ball, even when he's got his arms around me. But I don't think he'd understand me if I explained that I'm severely depressed and nothing really helps me. I feel like he would push me away and I'm terrified for that.
Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

[Caitlin]

I think it's best if you tell him. My bf tried hiding that he was depressed from me when we met, but I could tell something was wrong. I was glad he told me. Not only was it nice that he stopped keeping things from me and I understood what was wrong, but I was able to me more supportive.

 

[skysunsand]

He's never dealt with anything like this, I'm sure.... I don't want to be thought of as a "crazy" girlfriend because I'm so depressed... I just don't know how much longer I can hide it. But it feels like if I told him, I'd be giving him so much of myself that he could crush so easily.
I'm afraid.

 

[Caitlin]

I wish I had advice for you. I'm kinda in the same boat not wanting to tell my parents or roommate about how I feel.

If it helps, I had never known anyone with depression when my bf told me. I was a little shocked at first, but he patient and explained a lot of it to me so that I could understand better.

 

[skysunsand]

Well, I told him...and he really didn't respond to it much at all. I'm sort of at a loss here. He was my last hope and the only person I could reach out to, even a little bit. I feel worse now that I've told him than before.