Telling my Doctor

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ace, Oct 20, 2009.

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  1. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I'm going to tell my Doctor my intention's of seriously and most likely attempting very very soon,I'll see what he say's about this.I won't come on here and say I'm doing it right now etc due to respect,but I definitely am going to tell my Dr today about this.Will basically say I can't take this pain anymore etc,tell him the want to go is so strong especially convinced furthermore yesterday the hell Bdd bring's along with everything else that this so called life isn't worth staying.I'll just say to me I wan't to so badly and I know I'm going to attempt something as soon as I can.
  2. Vangelis

    Vangelis Well-Known Member

    Don't be shocked or surprised that he'll put you in a ward or lock you up in jail for harming yourself. But, I would consider you tell him what kind of pain you're feeling, whats your thoughts are, and why is the urge so strong that you must inflict suffering upon yourself...before you drop the bomb on him.
  3. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Good, I'm glad you feel able to share this with him. What are you hoping his response will be or to result from this?
  4. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    I agree with Vangelis. That crap got out with me almost four years ago and they sent me right to the ward. Made me much worse for quite awhile. Recently I've opened up again and had some of the same feelings, but I have learned a valuable lesson. I don't tell ANYONE except people online and my best friend, since he knows that if he gets me 'help' I will go much much faster. And I fully admit that this has been burning me up inside, especially since people who 'care' (in their own way) are right there, they just lack the comprehension/empathy most of the time. He also respects my decisions, however dark they might turn out to be eventually. Though, he does admit he has had urges at times. Most people don't have that respect for one another, and think that the help will really help, so they will tell the 'authorities' whoever they may be.

    I would agree that discussing the feelings with someone, maybe not a family doctor might be a good idea. But keep it to desperation and whatever negative feelings you are having (besides suicidal ones) unless you really know the person won't react heavily to it. Basically, it's exactly like dropping the bomb on somebody. Not that it should be that way, though. There's a huge urgency to these feelings and I get why you want to let it out. But just pouring it all out and saying you are close to an attempt will likely land you a trip to the ward. They may even lie just to get you there, lie and say it'll only be a day, but it'll likely be a week.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 20, 2009
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think you are wise to let your doctor know just where you are If you are going to kill yourself and truly belief so tell him this and demand help tell him you want help to get out of this pain and i hope he does admit you to hospital until you are stabilized you need help and deserve it good for you
  6. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    No offense, but what if getting shoved in a hospital can make you worse? I mean, the one I went to was 'better than most' but they treated us like kids, denied us the right to really have a 'reason' for the way we felt, just labeled it a disease and threw drugs at it. Even the counselors often acted like we were kids.

    I've had negative experiences with the mental health system in this regard; therapists can help sometimes but it just seems that once you're pretty serious about suicide they just shove you away.
  7. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Well if you're pretty serious about suicide I suppose you don't ask for help. People who do at some level want it, and those people can be helped. Don't forget, experiences differ from country to country and what may be common practice in the US is different from the UK.
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Ace, do it hun. Tell your doc. If you dont, then the pain just continues. And yes some people have bad pward stays, others get so much help and resources that they would never of known existed if they hadnt of stayed. Not sure where Vangelis is posting from but wouldnt look at jail as a reasonable response from your doc if you tell him/ her what you plan on doing. Hospital maybe... jail nope. By telling your doc I'm pretty sure if you do go to pward it will be considered voluntary and your stay can be quite short if it isnt working for you. Whatever happens ace, look at it as a chance you didnt have before. You know so many care about you here. I personally would like you to discuss it with your doc. Maybe start the appt with asking about the pward. Then tell him/her how you've been feeling. Ace if nothing else it will give you a few days from all the shit that keeps hitting you smack in the face everyday. Either way, good luck hun and post to let us know what the decision is please. :arms:

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    i think the best approach to this is, telling your dr. how you feel inside and that you dont want to get into the mindset of doing something stupid.
    depending on where your at, yes, its quite possible that they may hold you. if they do .... they do. if your looking for help you must be willing to walk that path.

    its up to you whether or not you want help. if you do, then go with whats offered and take from it. your the one in control right now.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Ace, you are doing the right thing :) Good luck!
  11. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thankyou all for your caring responses and warm touching word's of support,I did tell my Dr exactly everything.He changed my med's from 300mg Seroquel to Risperdal and no more seroquel because of the sedation.He said in the hope it may ease my thought's and severity with my Bdd so badly.I told him exactly my severe intention's of attempting very,very soon but as I will not say on here anything with more extreme detail due to respect.

    Anyway he tried his best to reassure me,I'm trying as hard as I can it's hell so badly don't know what's going to happen.To be honest don't really want to go into hospiatl,really the time's I've been I didn't get the best of treatment be it private or public and that's an obvious concern.I also found the Dr's at times really spent just minute's with me and just dissapeared in minutes,of course not all were like that but I do find hospital a difficult thing.

    So basically it's very difficult with everything at the moment,I just wanted to say how terrible such condition's are and could never imagine in my wildest dream's even ten year's back how horrible they could really be.Just trying to get out of the house even watching TV or reading the paper and feeling so ugly about yourself an so intimidated by everyone is just horrendous.Last thing I want to do is to make out like it's a crying game here,it is hell when you think you're too ugly for anyone,think you're just plain too stupid and useless.And being brought up by a father that made you feel you were a mistake ever being born,and just making out like you're the worst thing to people.

    All I ever wanted is to be happy that's all I've lost the job that meant the world to me,lost my licence because of my own stupid fault and pretty much feel and inside of me feel that there is nothing left.I'm still here I ask why and how and what for?.I try to hang on to thing's,maybe I'm just a coward to attempt I don't know.Whether I hold on or not I don't know for sure given hoe bad everything is.probably knowing me because I'm such a whimp to even attempt I'll still be here.Anyway to be honest all I ever wanted was to be able to do the simple thing's in life,work,study,have fun etc but in all seriousness I feel inside me and well can't help but believe I really am useless,stupid,dumb,ugly,screwed up and just an annoyance to people.I wish I felt otherwise but sadly I don't,that it could change one day sadly I can't see that either...
  12. raincloud

    raincloud Well-Known Member

    Sounds like it worked out. I hope you feel better soon. :console:
  13. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I'll just say I'm struggling as ever but I'll do what I can and hopefully in the hope that thing's can improve with only hope:sad:.Just a real killer of course and so wretched to be in this pain and not be able to enjoy such a quality of life:sad:.
  14. raincloud

    raincloud Well-Known Member

    I know, I'm in the same boat :(

    When I first read your post I was worried about you getting carted off to a ward somewhere. I posted about this on another thread, but when I was 15 I was honest with a doctor about my suicidal urges and I had also previously overdosed. I was then locked up and completely traumatized. It didn't help me -- it just taught me how to fake it. I'm an adult but still terrified of being honest with doctors or therapists.
  15. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Great result :) Good luck on your new meds!
  16. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    we have the same dream to have a normal life., to study, work, make friends, and maintain my financial status.. sometimes simple dream it will be hard for us because of brain chemistry,.,
  17. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Not so great at all to be honest,in such bad pain mentally and physically really crying so much it's killing me hard not to attempt anything:unsure:.
  18. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    Yeah, when things are real bad, it can be pretty hard not to do anything. Been there many times. Though, I am surprised your doctor didn't do anything if you said you actually planned to attempt. I maintain that you are playing with fire if you tell doctors really detailed things about wanting to die, but if you want that kind of help, I guess go for it. The only real positive things about 'hospitals' IMO is that there sometimes can be other people in your situation that you can become friends with. That's what I gathered anyway, and things didn't materialize, but they came close and if that really did work out it could help a lot. I'm sure it would have helped me a lot.
  19. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I am about to tell my doctor the same thing, i think it is for the best. You are worth someone helping you. I think what you are doing is very brave and says a lot about your resilience.
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