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telling my parents..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by purpleAPY, Oct 20, 2010.

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  1. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    my therapist thinks i should tell my parents that i'm suicidal... i really dont want to tell them, just cause i dont feel comfortable talking to them about stuff like that.. i dont even tell them about stupid little things, like good or bad, that happen in my life... ive just never really felt like i could go to them for emotional support.

    my therapist told me i should think about telling them, but it might take some time. i like that answer. i may actually tell them eventually, but i dont want to right now. i dont feel like its necessary right now.

    my roommate is also seeing a therapist for different reasons, and shes talked about me to her therapist. her therapist told her that she should tell my parents if i dont.
    is that fucked up?
    its not like im not telling anyone, im trying to get help by talking to my therapist and i have a psychiatrist appointment in a few weeks... its not like im not trying at all.

    my roommate is really convinced that telling my parents will help somehow... i just dont see how it would... if things got REALLY bad like even worse than they are now, i wouldnt go call them anyway... i think its hard for my roommate to understand that because shes really super close with her parents and like calls them every other day and stuff like that.

    is what i feel normal or is it fucked up that i dont want to tell my parents stuff like this?/dont think it will help me?
    or is that understandable considering the somewhat distant relationship i have with them?
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    hey purple!

    I think that generally speaking, therapists have a policy of saying/doing what they think will be most helpful to their patients even if it's bad for other people. I think that is a bad policy.

    what your roommate's therapist is telling her may be what's good for her even if it's not good for you.

    I guess some people have a super close relationship with their parents, their parents are really supportive, etc. I think in those circumstances, you would want to talk to your family.

    I think it may be hard to talk to your folks. The main thing is that you get better. It could be that telling your folks could help, but I don't know. Not all advice from therapists is good advice, though it could be that your parents could give you some support. They might also just become more annoying, so I don't know what would happen.

    I think that if everything is going wrong and you feel like you are not headed in the direction of things getting better, then contacting your folks would probably be good in so far as it is possible that they could help.

    your roommate may not understand though, because she doesn't know what it's like not to have a good relationship with her parents
  3. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    yeah, i mean, i told her that since shes really close with her parents she doesnt really understand how it is with my parents... she told me that shes not about to go call up my parents and tell them, but she feels like she should be doing something to help me, and she doesnt know what else to do...
    i dont know what to tell her to do.
    i dont think telling my parents is going to help.

    also all my roommates are going to be away this weekend and i'll be by myself, and im really nervous to be all alone for a whole weekend.
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    do you feel like you are headed in a positive direction now? i guess if you get to a point where you feel like you are safe and you're going in the right direction, then your roommate won't have to worry so much, and contacting you folks won't have to be so big an issue.

    I think it's great that your roommate cares so much though. a lot of roommates just wouldn't care.

    do you have other relatives that you feel close too? you might talk to them?

    how far away are you from you family? if you are not too far, maybe you could stay with them for the weekend. i know you are not too close to them, but you might feel better being with them than being alone.

    there's chatting with folks here and there's the crisis lines as well. getting a stack of funny movies for the weekend might help.

    I'm trying to think of something that you could do that would be a social situation that would be both supportive and low stress. Can't think of anything though.

    Do you think that on-line and phone support would be enough to get you through things?

    Maybe you could call your roommate over the weekend?
  5. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    i would feel even more alone going back home... i hate being at my house so much, i would never want to spend the night there all by myself. i mean obviously my parents would be there but it would basically be like being by myself... i hate going home.

    im sure my roommate will be texting me all weekend to see how i am, she doesnt like the idea of me being by myself any more than i do.

    i think having the phone support will help... i have a few numbers taped up right next to my bed.

    im just really scared and nervous and ive been holding back everything all week and just distracting myself and now this weekend all my distractions are gone and i'll be all alone... its terrifying...
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    maybe you could take a yoga or meditation class over the weekend?

    I suppose you could go to a church or a buddhist temple or something like that. You might even tell them about what is going on.

    The down side is that they might try to convert you. If you tried this, maybe stick with something that was main stream, not cult like. Even so, they still might try to convert you.
  7. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    yeah im not really into religion and shit like that...
    i think i'll just wing it, try to sleep at someone's house or something and avoid being home alone as much as possible...
  8. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    yeah, i'm not pushing or encouraging religion, just a place to go where there's people.

    maybe you could go to a coffee house that has internet access. or maybe even just the school library.
  9. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    im not worried about during the day... its easy to find things to do during the day... im more worried about going to bed alone/waking up alone...
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