Telling T

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by total eclipse, Oct 15, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Well with everything going on i just told T my plan i shouldn't of but i don't know if i am going to handle having so much stress. My daughter coming home Tomorrow i love her to death but it is like 24 hr a day care. I am on edge i can't relax afraid to upset her afraid she will run off afraid she will OD afraid i will just breakdown Afraid of the anger inside I told T my plan if things go wrong this time i can't go on i just can't keep going on Thinking of restarting my antidepressants but god i hate meds i hate giving up control
     
  2. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I take it, "T" is the therapist? Sounds like your under a lot of stress taking care of your daughter. Perhaps you need the meds temporarily to help you through it. Long term I think you need some physical help and respite perhaps from a friend or close family member if its possible. Perhaps it isnt though.

    Perhaps you can take your daughter outside, somewhere with a bit of greenery around. I find things always like better outside four walls.

    Good luck :)
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yup nature is one of the best healers around they say her trauma is stopping her from truly hearing what others say. How do i get through all that trauma why can't she see all i want for her is happiness. god so much pain so much sadness somehow somehow i have to make it all go away but how ive tried everything
     
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Home??? Why is the hospital letting her out? Violet that is insanity? She isnt ready. You need to tell them this. Or I fear you are in for a rerun of all the previous times. You cant keep doing this to yourself hun. You never get the break or rest you need. A chance to find some peace for yourself. You cant keep taking all the responsibilty on by yourself. If the hospital is too daft to see she needs to still be there then tell them to atleast set up some type of respite worker that comes to your home for a few weeks until she is stable and able to handle being home. This is a viscious cirlce that needs to be broken and it seems like you are the only one that is going to be able to do that hun. Get on that phone right now and tell them to set something up today!!!!

    Sorry I'm not angry at you or your daughter violet and this post doesnt sound supportive at all. But damn it, why are the staff so blind? Hun you need to get some in home care if for no other reason than having an outsider there that will see and back your information when you tell the docs she isnt ready for home yet. Please make some calls and see what you can find.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am way ahead of you I did phone as soon as i found out
    I ask doctor to try to get her into a long term treatment He words were no she will not be accepted
    He had just tried to get a young man into this same program and they said he was not suitable yet he had all criteria my daughter has. It is the behavior part of their diagnosis that is why no one wants them.
    I called social worker at hospital and left all kinds of messages. One for mental health nurse to come in a social worker to come in but that is only for an hour. a week.
    I am so tired i have tried to get her help. I am grateful to this doctor for trying to get me to understand how the dam system fails people like my daughter.
    She has tried to kill herself so many times but the doctor said she doesn't want to die she just want the pain to go away. The program picks and chooses who they want to take in all the criteria is there but the doctor says no he knows they won't take her.
    If the professionals can't help her then how am i too help.
    My daughter is still on list for Homewood but that is not until Nov at the earliest.
    Thanks for caring I was asked by my T if i would go in to hospital for rest treatment but i can't she needs me home
    she looks so fragile and weak today
    i just want to die oh god please pray please this time let her stay stable please.
    I don't want this i want her with people who will help her. I hope the mental health nurse and social worker comes soon because last time it wasn't soon enough and she OD within 5 days of her release.
    thanks to everyone here i am going to try so hard to keep it together and if i can't i pray i have strength to call for help. please god please help me.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I fear tommorrow and the next day and so on I fear everything now I want to sleep i wish i could go away why can't i just go away. I can't because i said i would never hurt anybody i said that but it is getting so hard to hold on. i am too tired to even think tommorrow worry abt it then just get one night sleep okay so you can survive the days ahead.
     
  7. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I got to this point with my daughter. I was suicidal again and I knew I would do it. I refused to pick her up with that explanation.

    I was charged with child abandonment. The charge was never held against me because my daughter's behavior in their custody proved my words.

    As it turned out, as long as I picked her up, other services were not available for her. The moment they had to take care of her my daughter got the services she needed.

    Even if I had received a sentence for not picking her up, it would have been worth it for the services she received.

    :hug:
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    unfortunately my child is now an adult and theywill release her weather i am there or not. If i am not there she runs to the street to be abused i love her and would do anything for her I don't know if she will makeit to her 21 birthday in Nov i don't know abt anything anymore I just know i have been open now i have told them if something goes wrong this time i can't blame myself over what will happen i did everything in my power and more to get her help. I hope the fffffffff system sees when they fail one it can excalate and soon two will be gone if only they could heal her trauma if only i am sorry i need to sleep now there is nothing in my control now what happens happens
    it is noted i tried i cared i didn't want to give up but fffffffffffff this dam system failed it failed my brother now it is failing her.
     
  9. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    The system is not helpful. When my daughter came of age the system told me an adult has the right to fail. I agonized over that one, but there was nothing I could do but pray and turn her over to God's care.

    :hug:
     
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    But even as an adult if it can be proven that she is not capable of making sound decisions or able to care for herself then there are laws that can come into play. O hun I really feel for you. I wish I lived close by, I could watch her for a while each day while you got some time to yourself. Yes it seems the system doesnt know it's ass from it's head for most days. Maybe you need to to show them the difference. Could you possible have your T send some recommendations as to how getting some help in the home is necessary for your well being? Just a thought. Maybe you need to involve others to add some strength to your demands. It's worth a shot huh?
     
  11. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    thanks guys i think i just have to remain calm and see if she stablizes My observations so far of her behavior in hospital says no. She has called twice this morning while i was out take sister for blood work. I am not going to answer the phone i can't she wants me to go get her this morning but i told her no Her father will pick her up when i am at work it is better that way. She has been told this a hundred times yet she still phones wanting me to pick her up.
    oh oh oh i can't worry i can't . Why some get help and others don't ill never understand There should be no criterias there should be help for all who suffer
    They don't understand how one persons illness can destroy not only her life but the whole family life as well. It is not her fault i will never blame her she is just not healing not able to deal with the trauma and i just can't help her i tried.
    the strattera for adhd is not at its optimum level yet so lets hope once it is she will be better. It is friday today no help for the weekend but her dad will be here so he will keep her busy It is the next week that worries me when i am alone with her. I worry so much i will do something wrong as i am not as strong as i use tobe. I want to run but where to i want tohide how childish of me it is what it is and just deal with it right like always assess what is in front of me and deal with it and hope for the best. Please God in heaven please no more trauma please.
     
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