Tempted after so long.. Why?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by darkmemories8083, Dec 2, 2011.

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  1. darkmemories8083

    darkmemories8083 New Member

    Hi there,

    I'm new on here so please bare with me. I am a 29year old male, married to a lovely woman, i have a job, a house, a dog. If you met me you would think i was perfectly normal. Growing up i suffered from depression and abuse. I have moved on and dealt with it in the usual ways. I used to self harm alot and managed to stop due to therapy etc etc. It's been probably 6 years since i last did it and i havent really thought about it in the last 5 years i'd say.

    For some reason now it's all i can think about. Yes i am unhappy, and stressed and probably sinking into depression again but i find it hard to ask for help. This is why i'm here i guess. I dont want to tell my wife because i dont want her to have to go through it again, i dont want to upset my family, i have no friends. I just don't know.

    I guess i've come here just to have someone listen because i feel voiceless.. Thanks for listening.

    If you want to comment please do. Feel free to ask anything i will be as open and honest as possible. Hopefully one day i will be able to help someone else on here.

    XJ
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun sometimes the chemicals in our brain become unstable and then we get depressed again coming here reaching out for support that is good hun I just want you to know i am listening and i care Please keep posting okay keeep reaching out as we do understand hugs
     
  3. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    With mental illness, there may be a period where things get better, but there will always be a chance that your symptoms may flare up again. That's normal. I understand not wanting to upset your family, but if you don't talk to anyone about it, you may get worse and end up hurting them anyway. The best thing to do is to tell them, and I'm sure that your wife, who has been there for you this whole time, will continue to be there for you and be supportive. Marriage is for better or worse. There will be hard times and those hard times are when you need to confide in your partner for help. I'm sure your wife loves you very much and will want to help. You're not a burden on anybody. What is happening that is making you stressed/depressed again?
     
  4. kizzybaby

    kizzybaby Well-Known Member

    Self harm plays such a big part in your life, that even when you give it up...it will always have been a part of you. It will always be there as the way you once coped. And when things get tough...It easy to remember how self harm kept you going once. That little inkling can always rear its ugly head. I dont think it ever goes away completely. Its a massive thing to go through and struggle with, it has such a huge host of exstreme emotions, that we cant expect it just to fade away and never ever return. But while the urges and the feelings may return from time to time...the behaviour doesnt have to. Take it as a test. Its just one of lifes challenges, to see if you can keep strong and fight it. Every time you fight that urge...you become a little stronger.

    Dont give in to it. Remember the other side of self harm. Yeah..its a great relief...its a simple , its immediate and its powerful. But it doesnt solve anything. Once youve cut or whatever, the problem is exactly the same as it was before, but now you have a wound also.

    Turning back to it....isnt worth it. Becoming hooked on it again, watching it take over your life, and destroy that life you have fought to build for yourself? Yoou have that job, that house, that wife and that dog, because you fought to survive once. You dont want to have to fight that battle again!

    xx
     
  5. kizzybaby

    kizzybaby Well-Known Member

    ps- dont you think your wife would rather hear about it now, at the start so she can help...rather than once its too late and you have been sucked into it and cant get out? Im sure she'd rather sit and listen to you...no matter how frustrating we can be...that have to know you hurt yourself because you couldnt ask her for support/.x
     
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