tempted

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GA_lost, Oct 28, 2009.

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  1. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    If it was not for my father having cancer, I would be very tempted to either try an OD or take myself inpatient. Either one though would be very cruel to my family. First because if I did succeed my parents would be so hurt. Second going IP would mean I am not supporting my family when everything is so hard now. I am so numb now though. I also feel so useless in helping anyone including myself. More I stay as is the more depressed I get. For now I am stuck as is.
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Well going inpatient would be lesser of the two cruelities. You should go IP. You're falling and falling and if you dont stop it you wont be any good for support to your family regardless. You need to keep yourself strong to be able to offer that strength to your family. Not to pry or sound uncaring but how advanced is your dad's cancer. If he is coping right now, take the time for yourself and go IP. Get some help while you can. Your dad's cancer may get worse and then you will need to be there for your family as much as you will need them to be there for you.
     
  3. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    i concur with itmahanh. unfortunately cancer doesnt always give ppl a break.
    i feel for your father. there are things can be done about your issues though. if you go to ip, at least you have the potential for getting better and being able to support your family.

    either way ... yes .. it could be hard on your family. but at least of you go to ip, it wont be a permanent hardship.
    get yourself better. i think your family would agree that you deserve it.
    we do to.

    odie
     
  4. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    itmahanh and Odie thanks for the replies. As of now these are temptations not a sure thing. What I want is peace and some way to keep from facing family issues. Also I feel very useless in trying to help anyone including myself. When you want peace and feel useless, IP and OD are temptations. If OD became s definite thing, I would go IP. :smile:
     
  5. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    as far as helping others ... you will find that when we write and tell our stories, others do gain from that. talking or in this case .. writing helps us as well as others.

    when i was in the phyc ward ... talking to others in the same situation helped me a lot. just keep reading the posts and writing. the family issues ... well .... sometimes if you can, you need to take a break from family to heal yourself.
    taking care of YOU isnt selfish. its what you need to do for you.

    stand strong inside.
     
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Well it's good to hear that you arent an immediate danger to yourself. And I'm proud of you for stepping forward at a time when you can rationally make some decisions about how to deal with the temptations, before they become more than that.

    As for not helping others and yourself... it is important that you find the help for yourself first. Without being strong enough to do the things you need for you, you wont be able to help the others either. So please dont try to take on too many things all at once. You have a "family" so there are others that can help out with the situation with your Dad too. And keep posting here. It is certainly an outlet so that you dont have to bottle things up at a time when you have so many things happen at once, and maybe not the support your used to because everyone else is busy with your Dad. Here to help any way I can.
     
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