Ten True Confessions

[LetItGo]

Another 10..blah might as well

1) I HATE myself for wasting my life since high school, and I think I always will

2) I often masturbate in front of the computer

3) I secretely wish somebody would assassinate George Bush. I really mean that

4) I hate living with my mother now...I desperately want to move out...again, but im too farking lazy to do it...see point 1 on the last list to know why.

5) Ive told people ive been looking for work, but the truth is I havent sent out a single resume yet. I do however have an interview for something tommorow

6) I use to have an addiction to online gaming, for several years, but now I dont play at all

7) I admin and own several websites. But ive been doing nothing to maintain or update them

8) Im not as anxious around people as I possibly I make out.

9) I could very easily become an alcoholic.

10) I dont think ill ever have a relationship, and I plan on killing myself on my next birthday If im not in one by then. Only a couple of people know this..now you all do.

 

[Sa Palomera]

ok in no particular order:

1- I'm starting to become an alcoholic, but know how to hide it from people IRL.

2- I love hashcookies and hashjoints, cos they make me feel happy (even if it's just for one evening)

3- I'm overly dependant on certain people

4- I hate, love and feel sorry for my father, all at once

5- I'm a very good liar, except if it comes to my friends.

6- I still miss Sharon everyday, more than words can describe.

7- I miss my mum eventhough I can't remember anything of her

8- I feel responsible for several death's around me.

9- I fall in love way too easily

10- I'm so sorry for many things.

 

[TheBLA]

Sorry I can only come up with 6 for now.

1. I love computers to death but still have not even built one or know any computer programming for instance.
2. I still bite my fingernails as well. :smile:
3. I am a terrible, terrible liar and thief, I could never get away with a crime.
4. I also want George W. Bush to be assassinated.
5. I don't know how to play any card games.
6. I don't know how to put on a tie.

 

[Marshmallow]

1 - I tend to get paranoid a hell of alot!

2 - I fear being hurt

3 - I've never been in a relationship

4 - I hate myself ALOT!!

5 - People tend to think i work alot harder than i actually do

6 - I can be very lazy

7 - I would die for anyone i love or care anout

8 - I've never had a job :ohmy: (busy with college)

9 - I still live with my mum and im scared about moving out

10 - Everyday my feelings grow stronger and stronger :shy:

 

[romance5]

ok, well i'm probably gonna have a stupid list but whatever. here goes:

10. every night i spend crying, then i have to listen to the all-american rejects to fall asleep

9. i throw up every time i eat burger king

8. i'm secretly obsessed with dane cook

7. i've been cutting for 2 years

6. i've done marijuana but i stopped

5. i have an emo hair fetish

4. i get mad and hurt way too easily

3. i'm too stubborn

2. i hate the way i look

1. i've attempted suicide once

 

[blub]

10. My legs are full with scars, a place where no one can see them.

9. I've only had crushes for girls of my own age or men who are a lot older.

8. I hate everything about myself and thats why I want to hide myself.

7. My best friend is my dog, because I dumped all my friends.

6. I use stackers to loose weight and who will make my hands shake, so I
cant draw. A thing I really love to do.

5. I ruin everything, because I want to be perfect.

4. I talk to myself a lot and I only say things that will make my feel awful.

3. I have bulimia and I dont want to stop with it.

2. I've given myself 1,5 year to reache my goal and than...

1. I probaly will never believe you and really trust you, because of my
paranoia.

 

[Will]

10 -I'm actually a very insecure person
9 - I am slightly geeky, not in appearance, but in the way that I know how to build and fix computers.
8 - I have no emotion for my parents
7 - I've never been in a real relationship
6 - I like some music in other languages
5 - I do cry while I cut, something I'm very disappointed in myself of
4 - I believe everyone around me is 10 times as better, and I will be alone always
3 - I sometimes can fall for people I barely know (maybe because I'm lonely) yet convince myself I'm not worthy
2 - I think many people see me as a self-centered type from the in person view, but in reality I'm so far from it, and I hate any shred of self-centered attitudes I might have.
1 - I secretly only want to be in love, and I shun the fact that I do

 

[Bob26003]

I just wanted to interject breifly and say what a fantastic thread this has been.

What a good Idea MoonStar.

You should get a ribbon

 

[kindtosnails]

10 - I can't stand being touched by men..but let them anyway
9 - I hold grudges but don't do anything about them
8 - I don't have a single friend in this city
7 - I seem to be constantly travelling but as soon as I get anywhere I want to leave and wish I was back where I started
6 - I've wished death on someone
5 - I self injure in more ways than I'd ever let on
4 - I don't have a clue what I'm doing with my life and can't seem to stop just doing what others want me to do or expect me to do
3 - I'm possibly the most boring person you'll ever meet
2 - I get attached to people way too quickly..probably because I'm so desperate
1 - I'm a bad person

 

[TLA]

I want to do this cuz I know I can't IRL...I hope this is not too outlandish!
I tried to narrow it down, sorry!

13. I hate my behavior when I am unmedicated and unstable (pulling knives on others, crying non-stop, Oding, driving recklessly)

12. I stay home in my night clothes (p.j's) all day, if no appointment, errand.

11. I've never done any (hard) drugs that were not prescribed to me.

10. I wish I had hope or goals for myself, my life.

9. I have been in hopital at least, 10 times. Not all of those were attempts, some were depression.

8. I secretly wish I had cancer (or other terminal disease) and die soon. Or that I have the nerve to (method).

7. When others look at me they say I am HOT or beautiful or pretty; I disgree and wish I could see what they see.

6. I stupidly was scammed out of $1100.00 by Nigerian person on the internet. No one knows. I only loaned him $200.00-he took $900.00 out of a bank account. DUMB, DUMB MISTAKE!! DO NOT EVER SEND MONEY TO STRANGERS!!

5. I had my first cybersex relationship recently; it lasted 12 months. It was with a married man. I did it mostly to forget my divorce and keep my mind occupied, off depressing thoughts. Now, I need to cut if off. I do'nt want to.

4. I want a professional job again, so bad!! I fear having to do a simple jobs. No one will hire me cuz I have a misdemeanor on my record from 2001.

3. I don't want to married again. For the simple reason as I do not want to be hurt anymore. I always said if I got divorced, I would die...I am very close to making that happen.

2. I really wish I could do anything to turn life back before February 18, 2005.

1. I want to do suicide, though my heart knows I am secretly scared it would be sucessful.

please Pm me if you have any ideas of "overcoming things"

TLA

 

[TLA]

Moonstar,
I agree with Bob26003 that we really needed to * SIGH* get this off our chests!! Great idea.

Bravo :biggrin:

 

[netean]

1. I'm afraid of failing
2. I'm afraid of being successful
3. My sex drive seems to be a too high to be "normal"
4. I like keeping a part of me secret - it makes me feel secure knowing that there's always a bit of me that no one else sees
5. More than anything else I'd love to be able to draw and be artisitic (sadly though I have the artistic ability of a sparrow)
6. I hate moving house: yet have moved 11 times in 13 years
7. Moving house has contributed significantly to my depression but i'd never tell my partner that.
8. I'm attracted to older men and women
9. I'm self employed but terrified of going out there and marketing myself
10. I'm afraid that people might "find out" I'm not as good as I seem

 

[kindtosnails]

i guess i have a lot to confess...i have more.

1 - I'm generally horrible to anyone who tries to help me. I'm not really sure why.
2 - People think I'm shy..its more that I've come to learn my opinions don't count and arent listened to..so I'm saving my breath :dry:
3 - I recently dared to trust what i thought was a close friend with a tiny bit of how I really feel. It was a mistake.
4 - I have zero common sense
5 - I have zero confidence
6 - I'm 19 and I don't really get how to cross roads..which gets me into trouble lol
7 - I want kids more than anything in the world but I know I'd be a bad mother
8 - I'm sick of things staying the same but I'm terrified of change
9 - There's not a single person who I've actually met in real life who knows how I actually feel and I hope they never do
10 - I'm so lonely I would actually pay someone to hug me right now.

 

[~Nobody~]

10 - I'm so lonely I would actually pay someone to hug me right now.

Hey, I know I can't and it's just not the same but if I could then I would give you a hug...

 

[poison]

10. I love all things heavy metal.
9. I can become attatched to a person a relatively short amount of time.
8. I am slighlty naive.
7. I have never told my closest friend I am suicidal and a self-injurer.
6. I am not a supporter of Bush, but hate anyone who bashes him full on.
5. I owned a collection of pocket knives before I even thought of SI-ing, and a part of me wishes I would've never gotten into knives, so I wouldn't of had them in a convient place so I could cut. :cry:
4. I have a foot fetish.
3. I don't believe in god and yet I've lied about it to other people at my school. Only my closest friends know.
2. I regard myself as "very intelligent" for my age, and maybe that means I'm egotistical. :unsure:
1. People look at me odd when I use big words, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

[slim_to_none]

1 -- im obsessed with clothing. i cant ever have enough. i love it.

2 -- im a published writer. youth journalism type stuff. ive done a fair amount of things on mental illness.

3 -- ive done 6 months of a course in youth work. dropped out because of hospitalisation. want to get into nursing for next year. want to help people before they get as bad as i am.

4 -- i adore music. most kinds. but mostly stuff that isnt "mainstream" .... i love love love love Nightwish, Jack Off Jill .... and then the mainstream stuff i like would be The Veronicas, and P!nk i guess. and i like Coldplay, Panic at the disco, etc.... my music tastes are weird.

5 -- ive slept with someone who i didnt have feelings for at the time

6 -- ive been hospitalised about .... i dont know, 9-10 times. and im 19.

7 -- ive had all my christmas cards written and sent already. (and its the 6th of december. yay for organization).

8 -- im obsessive about brands / labels. i hate labelled clothing. and im fussy about my make-up. i never try anything new. its always the same stuff.

9 -- i have a family member who never fails to send me cards. to where i dont live anymore. and that ALWAYS say the same thing.....

10 -- ill smoke anything anyone hands me. (tobacco of course)

 

[xan]

1. I bite my nails too, did it so much at one point i now have a weird nail on one thumb where i just bit right down the side.

2. I smoke when I'm drunk, hate it.

3. I like to drink more than I ought to.

4. I've stolen things when I was younger that I'm really not proud of.

5. I used to cry to much publically, so i decided to cut off my emotions as i got older, now I feel it hard to shed a tear a lot of the time even when i sob.

6. I like the taste of my blood.

7. I sometimes wonder if the reason I don't seek help is not because I see all my problems as trivial or that I am afraid of the consequences but because in the end I don't really want help.

8. I know one of the major triggers of myself harm but i can't seem to stop myslef pulling it.

9. I listen to depressing music and read things that depress me online when I'm already depressed.

10. I lie when people ask how I am.

11. I hate everything about myself, but a few months ago I was sorta thinking I wasn't bad looking, now I find it hard to believe that at all.

12. I don't do enough work at all, really should but i just keep putting it off.

13. I hate seeing people happy when I'm sad.

14. I still miss her....

I'll stop now....

 

[Terry]

"14. I still miss her...."

:hug: :hug: :hug: Xan

 

[xan]

:sad: REALLY wish i didn't now, today has been a bad day though... saw her a couple of times online and know she's at her new boyfriends tonight... i wonder how she'd feel if she knows how much pain i'd cause him if i had the power. Although to do that to another human and to her, well don't think I could live with that.. still tempting...

 

[Malcontent]

Tried to do this before but then deleted it, lets try again...

1. I'm a lot more ill than I let on

2. I'm not a very nice guy

3. I miss my unborn son every day

4. My biggest dream is to be a father

5. The only way I can sleep is to overdose on my meds and then get drunk

6. I'm disgustingly fat

7. I go crazy without cigarettes

8. I have slight bi tendencies

9. I can't stand to see a woman cry

10. I still love my ex, and I think I always will