Im not sure of what life has to offer me anymore. I have many insecurities like how i look because all my life people told me i was ugly. And now its like everybody who i cared for left out my life. The only person i have is my mom and its not that im unthankful but i want someone else. Me and my mom have very differant opinions on certain things and we tend to argue. The girl who i used to have a crush on i messed up with. 1st was when i texted her online and she found out it was me, i was trying to remain annonymous, so then i looked like a loser. Then i wrote her a note later which i know was dumb. Then after she rejected me i missed her so much i went for her sister. And her sister turned out to be a horrible person. Now its like everyone who laughed at me and were cruel to me are living good while i get nothing. I talked to much more girl later on but it all led to nothing. Now i feel like i screwed up my high school year, im a junior im suppose to be the guys thats liked ,thats how i imagined it. I know its just high school but im not out yet i still have a long time to go altough it may not seem like it. Now i wish i could just say sorry to that girl, apologize for the note that i wrote and going for her sister. Then maybe i wouldn't feel so much like a loser when i see her. But what if she doesn't want to listen to what i have to say anymore. Its hard because i just wish i could go back and change things, i don't want this to be my life right now. Every time i go to be i pray i can wake up as someone else. But i can't. Im all alone with no family little friends, and a messed up high school year. Not to mention i might be ugly.