sooo, im having a major crisis atm. ive had 3 days of horrific bulimia massive binges MORE THAN EVER. and purging is so fukin difficult for some reason. Ive had a shitty day as fuck and just in middle of eating last things of the day and so drained and legs hurt feel hot bothered dizzy stressed terrrified so scared dads on my case 24/7. cant breathe and got to purge after. tired exhausted beyond belief. sick of living in fear all day all night no rest no peace no shut off. no control. spacey. help! hate this :'( @@@@@@@@ i hate to rant but im really on the edge. everyday i think and dream of suicide. wish to high hell i could make the perfect exit and actually succeed fukin want out. but im chicken shit and worry it goes wrong. im sick of food sick of being sick sick of feeling full to the point u cant breathe and bending over the loo in agony nearly choking to death and straining and trying to get everything up. its a fukin nightmare and no death cud ever be anymore despairing or terrifying or painful than wat i go thru every bastard day of my shitty lame arsed life. i hate myself im weak pathetic and all alone. i wish someone cud help me, wish i cud help myself wish i cud leave this and get out. i honestly cant do this anymore. dont know wat to do. just plod on. im dreading it i really want to disapear right this minute.