Terrified Because I Don't Feel Real!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Melbel, May 22, 2012.

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  1. Melbel

    Melbel Member

    I have been thru hell this week! My good friend beat me to the punch and comitted suicide last Wed. We took one of my cats to be put down Fri Her death has reserfaced so much! I haven't truly eaten since Sat night. I will have a cracker here and there. I hardly drink anything other than alcohol. I average only 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I dream in color and the nightmares are so real!! I am so numb that I am terrified! I KNOW what will happen next. Been there got a damn T-shirt! I am married to someone who abuses me. No, I don't call the police because its complicated. I know I need help, but I have trust issues. I don't open up and keep a great big wall around my heart. I give up!! I give up!!! Nothing is goin right!!
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Your friend and your cat passing in such a short time is hard to take.
    What will happen next, Melbel?
    If your partner abuses you, then you must act to try to change the situation. Why is is complicated?
  3. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear about your friend and your cat. I know what it's like to lose friends and loved pets. I also know what it's like to be abused, and to be in a bad marriage that is too complicated to escape from, to have terribly vivid nightmares, and to drown all of those sorrows in alcohol. I know you say you have trust issues, but trust me when I say that you are not alone in what you are going through. That's why we are here. We didn't all come here because we are happy with our lives, we came here because we were thinking of ending it, and this is a last ditch effort to find support from others or to tell our stories before it's too late. You can talk to me if you need to vent, I will listen and I won't judge you. I know that trust has to be earned, and I am just a stranger to you, but the offer still stands. Regardless, you have both my sympathy and my empathy, and I hope that things do turn around for you.
  4. momluvslgg

    momluvslgg Member

    My heart breaks for you for all the pain you are going through. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend and kitty, and you are very brave to reach out and share with us. I can't imagine how difficult it is to loose two loved ones in your life so tragically, and have this happen all in one week. This is more than enough for anyone to have to deal with. But in addition to this, you mentioned that you are being abused in your marrage - this causes me great concern for you and your safety. Since you mentioned that you know you need to get help but have trust issues, I want to refer you to a free counseling helpline at 1- (855) 771-4357. You can remain anonymous if you feel more comfortable doing so. This line is through the organization that I work for (Focus on the Family). They can also refer you to a counselor in your area if you are interested. I know their counselors really care, and are here for you if you will reach out to them. Also, I found an article http://bit.ly/KBO9ie on dealing with physical and verbal abuse that I hope will be helpful to you. Please keep reaching out to others and know that we care about you. I'm praying for God's protection to surround you, and that you will feel His love, comfort and guidance in your life today, and in the days ahead. God be with you, friend!
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