So...there was a going away party for all the people leaving the Worst School in China today. Everyone heard me lie, telling people I have another teaching job lined up in Australia. It's obscene. I feel everyone knows that I'm a loser who's being ejected at the word of a supervisor who has had it out for me from day 1.
I'm terrified in this last week I'll lose my control and shout my suicidal plans when someone confronts me or snidely wishes me well (been getting a lot of that lately). I'm especially afraid of the supervisor, since she has turned everyone against me (it's a school joke how much she hates me, and how I just roll over and take it from her) will say something that will set me off. She is the reason I haven't applied for another job - she slobbered in my ear weeks ago that she had done everything in her power to ruin my professional reputation for ever.
I've thought of many methods and really, really want to be found in her office when the deed is done. But I'm afraid that might be what she wants and I don't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking that she caused my death.
What should I do? It's not like I'll be working again. I really want to tell off her lackey (the music teacher) that I know what she did and that she knew how much she pushed an unhappy woman over the edge. I'd like to write out every put-down, every unfounded accusation and criticism, every charge of thought crime up on the school Facebook page so I can show the students and families that I've been working for for seven years exactly why I chose to die.
I'm terrified in this last week I'll lose my control and shout my suicidal plans when someone confronts me or snidely wishes me well (been getting a lot of that lately). I'm especially afraid of the supervisor, since she has turned everyone against me (it's a school joke how much she hates me, and how I just roll over and take it from her) will say something that will set me off. She is the reason I haven't applied for another job - she slobbered in my ear weeks ago that she had done everything in her power to ruin my professional reputation for ever.
I've thought of many methods and really, really want to be found in her office when the deed is done. But I'm afraid that might be what she wants and I don't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking that she caused my death.
What should I do? It's not like I'll be working again. I really want to tell off her lackey (the music teacher) that I know what she did and that she knew how much she pushed an unhappy woman over the edge. I'd like to write out every put-down, every unfounded accusation and criticism, every charge of thought crime up on the school Facebook page so I can show the students and families that I've been working for for seven years exactly why I chose to die.