Over the last month things have been getting increasingly worse; I am losing control of my ability to think. I am getting intrusive thoughts. It's like my mind has been wiped blank and just replaced by irrational fears and obsessions. This has been accompanied by other mental changes too. Acute anxiety initially, palpitations for over two weeks continuously and when I went to GP nothing wrong with heart. At times I have been too anxious to have appetite to eat, now more recently appetite voracious. The depression over this period of time has lingered.I have never been depressed like this before. I have lost all enjoyment of life, I am in bed most days unless the one day I committed to work as a volunteer and I am still trying to force myself. I look at people around me and I no longer feel part of the world, I feel like I'm in a little bubble on the outside looking in. I have cried every day over this period of time. My nervous system feels like it is breaking down too. It's embarrassing but I keep getting this twitching/muscle spasm in my left bum cheek. This is happening throughout the day for over two weeks. I am scared, I don't feel safe at home, I don't feel safe outdoors. I wish I could just remove my brain and be at peace. The world and my intrusive obsessive thoughts are too much for me to take. I just can't think normally anymore; I don't know what's happening to me. I can't handle the environment anymore; too much stimuli, talking, TV, reading. I feel I am being bombarded from every angle and I just cannot process it. My thoughts often ramble to things which are incoherent to me, my mind is a confused jumbled mess. I don't even know what a nervous breakdown is, but something really scary is happening to me and I don't know where to turn. Every day I wake up I feel even worse anxiety knowing I have to experience this another day. I feel like my only option now is to suicide. I have even started getting resources together, but need to obtain the suitable drugs which may be difficult. I just know now there is no way out other than this. It scares me as I never thought my life would come to this, at least not so soon (I am 30 years old). I wish someone could hold my hand through this and help me die. The next couple of weeks are going to be really tough dealing with this by myself, but I know I need to make a decision. Either continue to live in mental suffering or end my life.