Terrified; need to die today

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Yvette, Mar 18, 2015.

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  1. Yvette

    Yvette Active Member

    I've been depressed since October 2014, after a couple weeks of extreme stress again I think I'm having a breakdown. I am hearing things. I am terrified and I have no one at home to help or reassure my. When I told my dad he just brushed it off and trivialised it and then wouldn't stay at home with me because it was more important to attend an appointment. I don't want to end up in hospital I would rather die, I just don't know what I can do to finish myself off today. I had been wanting to take my life for a long but have not made plans for hope and expectation that things could be getting better. This set back is huge and I now feel awful for not making appropriate plans sooner. I don't know where I should go from here! I am desperate but don't want to try and take my life in haste and then mess it up.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Did you ever try the anti depressants you were prescribed by your GP ? Yous said were referred to a psychiatrist but have you had that appointment yet? Instead of spending the day trying to plan a way to die , try to use the fear you have today to motivate you to not have these days anymore by going back to GP or to hospital and this time trying what they recommend so perhaps you can avoid these awful days that are so painful to you. I know in other posts you have said you worry about side effects or long term side effects, but if suicidal anyway I am unsure that long term is a big consideration, so seems like a chance to not be scared and confused would be worth a shot.
  3. Yvette

    Yvette Active Member

    I don't know if these acute symptoms are a manifestation of the depression or something more sinister. I am very scared, and scared to go to the GP about it due to the stigma, and this being written on my medical records. I am desperate and scared but unsure of how to proceed.
  4. Tjh

    Tjh Active Member

    You shouldn't be afraid to tell your gp, he will understand and know what to do to help you. :)
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Yes, go and see your doctor as he or she will help you. Everything can be dealt with and you need to remain strong. Be kind to yourself please. You are a worthy person who deserves to live. So be safe, as we are here for you. Don't worry now, take. thj's advice. We do care about YOU.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I think when people are sometimes scared to tell how they really feel they forget their doctor will have heard it a thousand times over. In recent years they don't like to 'label' anyone anymore as such i.e I had to ask what my diagnosis was even though I was pretty sure what it was. I don't know where you're from but where I am from Ireland my medical files are psychiatric files are kept separate, I know there's a huge stigma but you have to do this for you. You need help and help is there, you don't need to tell anyone else other than your doctor if you don't feel comfortable with that. I do know the feeling though :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 18, 2015
  7. Yvette

    Yvette Active Member

    I don't know if I should tell my GP the full story or just tell her I think the depression is getting worse. I don't know if what I am experiencing us a symptom of the depression/stress related or something worse?
  8. tacoper8er

    tacoper8er Member

    You're GP will have a better shot at helping you if you tell them as much as you can bring yourself to.
  9. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Please take the advice and you will be fine. Do not worry now and be safe.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Maybe start off at ease by saying the depression is getting worse and then when you feel at ease tell her the full story. Think of it as an orange and break off each segment as you go along. Try and make the appointment soon so you can get this dealt with and you'll be on the road to recovery. If you ever need to talk, i'm available :)

  11. Travsmate

    Travsmate Member

    Hi Yvette,

    I am feeling your terrible day and I am really concerned about you.

    I understand not wanting to see a GP or talking to anyone however if any inch of you believes that their is a life worth living then don't let the majority ambush you - You know you are struggling and you just have to reach for that minority and realise that there is nothing to lose and everything to gain in talking to someone.

    I pray for your tomorrow x
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