For the longest time, I have thought about how I would commit suicide. But because I don't want an unlucky kid to stumble over me hanging from a bridge, or someone having to scrape pieces of me off walls etc. I have decided on faking a natural death. The way I will do it should make it look like a a heart failure, and if successful should not take more than 30 sec to a minute. The only real problem is that if I fail, I might survive for hours or even days in extreme pain. And in the very worst, but most unlikely case, it won't even kill me. I have failed in every single thing I have ever done in life, and the thought of me being known as the incompetent idiot that couldn't even kill himself is scaring me. I have already started to "burn the ships" so that I have no choice but to end it, but I am still not overly confident that I will be able to man up and do it. I am not really asking for anything here. I just need to get it out, and it is not like I can talk to anyone about this without being anonymous.