Thank you and goodbye

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Milly, Jan 10, 2009.

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  1. Milly

    Milly Well-Known Member

    I havent really posted a lot but ive found a lot of help thru just being around this forum so thank you to you all.
    everything has become too much for me and i cant go on, i cant cope with life anymore so this is the end :sad: its too much of a struggle to get thru another day alone, i have nothing left to fight with.

  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You aren't alone in your struggle Justin. We are here to help you through. What has brought you to this decision at this time?
  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Don't go Justin. You know there is a lot of help and support here. We all have moments like you are going through and are here to do that for you. I've been there and have come through with the help of people here. It can be done. Best wishes.
  4. Please dont leave when you've found somewhere that really helps, and havnt used it...

    You never know...

  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't give up. :hug:
  6. Milly

    Milly Well-Known Member

    failed. cant even get that fucking right:sad:
  7. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Oh Milly I'm sorry that you're struggling so much right now and that you attempted to take your own life. How are you feeling now? x
  8. Milly

    Milly Well-Known Member

    I have no job, no income, no future. my life seems to be spiralling out of control downwards and i want it to stop. my ex is playing with my head and my emotions and she knows im fragile but still does it.
    4 months ago i had to have one of my cats put to sleep and now the other is ill and the vet says that she needs the same, i cant do it, i cant have my little friend put to sleep like the last one
    I feel cold and alone with no one to turn to, i have no real friends.

    Im just a failure and a waste of time
  9. alle_vite

    alle_vite Well-Known Member

    Justin your not a failure and your not a waste of time, cut all ties with your ex if they are messing with your head, your not with them anymore and you gotta think of yourself and put you first, no job and no income can be solved by seeking help, depending on were u live is there any support for the unemployed? You do have a future you are just at a crossroad in life, you just have to find the right path for you. Im sorry about your cats, animals make amazing friends! If you need a chat feel free to pm me or add me on msn my addy is in my profile.

    Stay Safe
  10. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Very good advice!

    You can always PM me if you need to talk.

    Take care:hug:
  11. Milly

    Milly Well-Known Member

    it doesnt feel like a crossroads in my life, it feels like a cul-de-sac or a dead end road. ive been made redundant 3 times in the last year and everytime i pick my self back up i get pushed back down. each time it feels a little harder to get going again and the depression and social anxiety gets worse. its got to the point where i crave the manic episodes just to get a little relief from the feelings of despair and depression (if that makes sense?). this time i just feel i cant do it again, i dont have the strength anymore.
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    How are you feeling today Milly? :hug:
  13. icerain

    icerain Well-Known Member

    hey Justin, look at it as you did not fail, but you succeded in living another day.
    its got to the point where i crave the manic episodes just to get a little relief from the feelings of despair and depression (if that makes sense?). yes it does, at least to me. i can't always pull off the manic, but once i get there, i don't always want it to leave, but then i get freaked out when i am around others too long. it is a vicious cycle, i know.
    please take care, and remember, a cul-de-sac goes in a big circle and can lead you in a different direction.
    sorry if this is too confusing.
  14. Milly

    Milly Well-Known Member

    Thanks peeps, well im still alive and havent had any more attempts although the thoughts of ending it havent left and things seem to be sliding further. im struggling to sleep and eat and feel worthless and pathetic and i just want to give up completely.
    ive tried talking to someone from here via msn about it and i cant , its like where do i start and what do i say - "hi its me from sf and i still want to die"?, thats not exactly a good introduction is it? its really hard to express things as ive never been an open and talkative person prefering to keep everything inside. im finding it really hard to write this. i tried making an appointment with my gp today and couldnt do it, why i dont know, i just got really panicky while dialling the number and hung up before id finished. i know that makes me sound like a prick that needs help and wont go get help.
    Its just really scarey for me at the moment. i was actually scared of comming back on here. ive never been this down before and i hate feeling like this!
  15. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Justin,
    There is no hurry to make decisions about your welfare. You have a whole lifetime to make those choices. I understand that you feel a little desperate because you don't have a job.
    The economy is in the crapper and it is world wide due to the greed of the rich. They feel they can do what ever they want but what it boils down to is they aren't just harming us but they are harming themselves also because people can't afford to spend money as freely as they use to.
    All you can do is keep trying to find work. My therapist always tells me as long as you are trying you are not a failure, and she is right. You may not find employment in the feild you would prefer but right now you just need to take what comes along. Things will get better it is just going to take a little time.
    You know you have the emotional support from us here at the forum, Lean on us and let us help you to keep thinking of yourself. As far as your cat goes you will know when it is time to put her/him to sleep to end the suffering. We just put my sisters dog to sleep, she lived to the ripe old age of twentyone. She went detph and lost all her muscle mass. She was also going blind and all she did was eat and sleep because that was all the energy she could muster. It was very emotional because we all had grown over the years with her and she held a special place in our hearts.
    I hope some of this makes sence to you Take Care and just keep pushing forward you have been doing a good job and I know you can find that inner strength to keep trying. Stay Safe!!~Joseph~
  16. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Don't feel bad. I couldn't go either. A friend actually set up the appointment for me and then took me in. She had to take me to my first three sessions. Now I can go on my own, but I never would have started if I hadn't had the support. Fear can be a mountain to overcome. Don't worry about not being able to make the appointment this time. Just keep trying until it finally happens. :hug:
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