Thank you "brother"

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Ryy, Jul 26, 2012.

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  1. Ryy

    Ryy Well-Known Member

    So yesterday i posted in the thread about when was the last time i cut, and it was 13 days, well now it's something like one hour since i last done it.

    We had just had dinner, so i go to wash my plate, as i'm washing it, my brother comes in the kitchen wanting more chips, but i had ate the last, he looks at me as if to say "you fat **** head, did you eat the last of the chips?" so i just smile and try and shrug it off. He asks me who ate the chips and i told him i did, and he gives me the look again so i ask him i stop giving me that look, and it breaks out into a argument.

    At this point i was still holding my plate i was washing, and i wanted to hit him with it ... I was so tempted to, i didn't thank god because i wouldn't of forgave my self, i smashed it instead.

    I was shaking with rage so i went to my room and cut, but deeper than i normally done it, it felt good to watch the and feel the blood running down my arm, i missed it.

    It's like an hour since i done it, and i want to do more, but i'm not going to tonight.

    That is what my brother is like, always putting me down, talking to me like i'm a child he is a ******* ****, hypocrite.

    On the bright side he is moving out in a few month.

    Hopefuly now i can start again with my record for time without self harm, my best was 2 years. Hopefully this time i can beat it.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Before I respond directly to your post, I have to say, I remember when the Hubble discovered the star that is your avatar; have you seen the new pics of the Discovery Channel Telescope?

    They are to your post...I am so sorry there is someone in your life who treats you like that, but I hope you can also remember that you deserve to be treated kindly by both yourself and others...and yes, try to collect no SH days did it before and can do it again
  3. Ryy

    Ryy Well-Known Member

    That's a beautiful photo :).

    And thank you i hope so to.
  4. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry your a cutter. I'm sorry you got in a spat with your brother.
    Family's spat happen, sometimes siblings can say hurtful things to one anther.

    The first thing you *must* do is realize he did NOT make you cut. What made you cut, was you did not know how to cope and resit the urges of cutting, it's a state of denial, blaming others for the harm we inflict. Because we don't really know what to do.

    Take care-

    Here are some things you could do when angry instead of cutting;

    - Write to or call the Samaritans (or anther hotline)
    - Punch something (preferably soft, in other words, not a wall)
    - Go for a fast walk or a run
    - Listen to angry music
    - Scream
    - Vigorous exercise (sit ups, push ups, boxing etc.)
    - Throw ice cubes against a shower wall or bathtub
    - Squeeze an ice cube really tightly
    - Scrunch up some paper, unscrunch it and then rescrunch it over again
    - Make a cloth doll to represent yourself or the thing you are angry at. Cut and tear it.Start off slowly and start ripping and saying why you are angry. Tell it why you are mad. You may end up swearing, yelling, crying… it helps to vent.
    - Get your hands on some play-doh or plasticine. Throw it. Smash it.
    Break sticks.
    -Clean your room
  5. Ryy

    Ryy Well-Known Member

    Thank you sea :). Looking back now, as i do every time i do cut, i think it's stupid, but hell, that's me every set back no matter how big or small makes me want to cut. That was the last time i done it, but as the days go on it's hard to not give in and just cut, these tips may come in handy, thank you again :).
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