I planned it for Friday night/Saturday morning. I have prepared the means, they are already in my bag. I'm going out and planning never to come back. I will order self help books for my family tomorrow. Already found some good ones. Have already prepared a list of weekly errands for my husband. Will leave a link to this forum too. It might be good if my mother in law could come and stay with them for a while so I'm going to book her a plan ticket too. I'm also going to tell my colleague how I feel, or maybe not... he would reject me anyway, no need for him to feel guilty when I'm gone. I just can't face my life anymore. It hurts. Every second of it. I sleep 18 hours a day just to stop the pain. I wish I could sleep forever. Thank you all for your support. You helped me go on for a couple of weeks longer, but I can't take it anymore. I can't bear this pain. If my husband visits this forum for support, please help him too. Tell him to hold on for our kids. Tell him I wasn't worth his love.