Seems like long enough yeah... means i'll have lived 8500 of them, and thats a nice enough round number. Maybe it'll be easier knowing that it will be all over then, rather than worrying each day will be my last. I'm sure i can manage 18 days, knowing that its the last. I'll get enough time to have a bit of fun, put my life in order, spend the last bit of time with people i care about, and be able to make the most of it because i know that it will be the last. I don't think it will be easy, things have been getting harder and harder, but i think literally giving myself a deadline might make me manage it. I'm not going to tell anyone here, but i'm going to make sure i write a long letter, explaining what i have done and why. Not much comfort maybe, but i'm sure everyone will see its all the best. Means 12th of September will be the end of it ... kinda seem glad to be honest with you, i can look at that date, and go yes, thats it. gonna spend a good day out then with the gf, then say goodnight to her in the evening, lock myself alone in the bedroom, and then end it. Thanks to everyone who has tried to help me, and... well given me this last bit of life to go out and make things right. i hope you can all look at this in a good way, its life, not death i'm choosing for this one last time, and support this choice. i would have died tonight if i didn't know that there were people here who understood this, and that could see what i am doing is for the best now. So thank you everyone, i'll leave this post as a log of everything i do to get ready for this, make sure i'm not wasting that time you know.