thank you for making this forum

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#1
to my point
im a 15 (almost 16) year old girl and im going to have to do everything for my mom soon.
ive tried killing myself seven times and i told her, but she thinks thats really selfish of me
i guess shes sort of right anyway, my sister needs me
but i dont plan on posting again, i just want someone to know i exist
my dad has been putting up with her s/// for a really long time now.
she says she hates him to his face and that he has a "serial killer smile"- whatever that means
she says and does this right in front of me and my siblings. i want to tell someone but i think id just get
taken away from my family. thats what my dad says. i dont know any better.
ive been homeschooled my whole life so im just about as sheltered as it gets. i dont even know
my own address or my own blood type or little, simple things about myself that i probably should.

is it weird that my moms abusive, and not my dad? i dunno, idle thoughts here.
my dads never hurt me or my siblings, or heck, anyone i know. sorry for using heck, its sort of silly
but im trying to avoid foul language aside from the censored one up above. it just feels more clean that way.
she knows she can hurt him and get away with it because hed never hit her back.
she doesnt want to be the "bad guy" but shes already done enough to tearr apart this entire family.
my half-brothers (my dads side, hes been married twice) were pushed away from my dad because
my mom didnt like them. my dads parents have been pushed away, my moms own sister was pushed away,
and my brothers starting to get it too. he turned 18 last year and i almost had to call the police on my mom
last time she argued with my dad. she says either "he'll kill me or ill kill myself" but i dont really believe her.
she started saying shed kill herself after learning i was suicidal, like it never occurred to her before.
i know her. she wouldnt do it. she thinks my dad would actually kill her but he isnt brave enough.
my dad isnt brave enough to hurt anyone. maybe not brave enough, but hes smart enough not to
do anything stupid.

ive got some plants to take care of now, and i guess i should work on that.
theyre all succulents, but theyre not much of an excuse to keep me alive anymore.
my dads packing his stuff as i write this, so i know hes serious this time. hes actually going to leavr.
hes going to leave me with my mom and i dont want to be left alone with her. thats th worst thing he could do. i dont trust my mom, i have no reason to after shes willing to seperate family and slap my dad because "he hurt her"- emotionally. my dads a bit cynical and sarcastic but hes never demeaning to my mom. she just thinks he is. its really not thhat true. i only have my sister and my brother left because we might have to get rid of our dogs. theyre 9 years old adn we got thm asp uppies. i dont want to lose them.

thank you for reading, thouhg.sorry abotmy grammr, im vry upsset.
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#2
Hi there
You know there is a lot more to life than being young & trapped in a house with people who are driving you crazy. You don't have that much longer to go. You can do it. You can lean on people here or in the real world, whichever you've got but killing yourself over life at this age is shit cause you haven't gotten a chance to live your own existence. Don't let these people suck you down. Come back & check in again soon ok?
 

Dawn

Well-Known Member
#3
Hi and welcome to the SF family. I'm so sorry u are having such a hard time and your family problems. I know that is really hard to deal with. U have come to the kindest place. Everybody is so understanding here.

It's true that u don't have much longer until u are on your own and u won't have to deal with this all the time. So please stay strong and hold on because things will get better for u. Keep posting and let us know how u are doing.
 

JmpMster

Owner Emeritus
#4
You can get help for your situation by calling 211 on the phone. There are also many places that can contact on internet as you clearly have internet access.

Get real help and real intervention for yourself, your siblings, and so far as it goes, for your mother. You are not locked away secluded from the world any more than you choose to be since one call or email gets you help. Even just saying the same thing as above to local police, social services agencies or 211 on phone. Or just call 1-800-562-5624 evenings/weekends/holidays or 1-866-363-4276 during regular daytime hours and discuss the issue with them. There is no family to be taken away from since you can't/don't want stay with your mother and your father left, so...

In a relatively short time you will be able to make your own life and your own decisions, no reason at all to not give that a chance and find out what living is really about. Until then, why not ask father to go live with him?
 
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#6
Sorry to hear that you are going through this Zebrahaworthia

www.hotpeachpages.net has a world-wide directory of domestic violence and abuse resources. They might be able to help.

Agree with JmpMstr about calling 211, or visiting 211.org, if you are in the US or Canada. They may be able to help connect you to some resources.
my dads parents have been pushed away, my moms own sister was pushed away,
What do you think of your grandparents on your dad's side and your aunt?

I wonder if you would be able to go live with one of them if living with your dad wouldn't work out.

Wishing for everything to turn out ok.
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#7
@zebrahaworthia

Succlents are fun to have and watching nature being beautiful is a relaxing hobby to have. Really try some tillandsia too being creative with them.

How are you holding up since you last posted?

Take Care
 
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