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Thank you thread

SaFa61947

Kaiser Franz
#1
I spent years playing with the idea of killing myself. And I came here to find a good method thinking about how bleak my future looks and that I need a way out if things get too rough.

I see now that all the years I spent planning suicide and thinking about it, being depressed just fueled the depression even more. I listened to sad music because it fit my mood, but I was actually fueling it.

I didn't want to kill myself. I wanted a solution to my problems. People who are suicidal never have 1 problem. They have a myriad of small problems and that one big giant problem they don't know how to handle.

Small problems ignored for too long, eventually grow and become significant. At one point in life, the person is cornered, stuck and they start looking for the "easy" way out.

What I feel now is regret. Regret for letting this happen with me. I have no control of the past but I can change my future.

I did nothing out of ordinary since registering KaiserFranz in Suicide Forum. I made a safety plan and read all the articles in the home page that seemed relevant and then I went to interact with the users of the forum.

It's not like you gave me a reason to live, but you helped to discover my own reason. And I'm thankful for that. This is why I came back, just so you know I'm doing fine, I'm doing my hobbies and I won't be browsing the forum as often as I did, but I might come back from time to time.

The words a user told me are engraved in my memory. There is always a way out, there is hope, no matter how old you are. I will use my attention and energy towards improving my life and never look back. Small changes compound over time and create long-lasting benefits. I don't mind if I'm putting off a fire with a spoon. At least I'm doing something.

So, this is reassurance that you helped at least one person. That person is me. Thank you.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
Thank you for writing this and giving others hope whilst explaining your own situation. I am glad you chose life and are continuing to do your best. May you have a healthy and happy recovery and enjoy your hobbies. Look forward to the good days and remain positive and pleasant with the present!! 💦
 

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