Not really a rant, or news, or an announcement, just writing lol soooo i'll leave it here What are you supposed to say when thank you just isn’t good enough? How do you repay someone for quite literally saving your life and allowing you to see beyond today? I am in no way ‘cured’ and still have a hell of a long way to go before I can honestly say I have dealt with everything in my past but now I actually ‘want’ to get better, I ‘want’ to sort myself out whereas before I could see no point. The only thing I ‘wanted’ was for everything to be over, to not have to deal with anything, to not have to remember. Now I want a life, I want a future. After seeing some of the stuff I have said to them over the last 18 months I am surprised they are even talking to me anymore. I have been a complete bitch and fucked with their head on more than one occasion, hell I don’t even remember half of the things I said. Now all I want is to make them happy, I really would do anything for them, but they know that. Everything that fucks my head up daily they have seen and experienced ten times worse yet still they are fighting and are there for everyone else. They are the only reason I want to fight anymore. I trust no one, they have known that from day 1 but they chose to stick around and now they are the only person I do trust. So basically I am a lot happier than I was, and it is all down to this one person. I still get fed up, I am still depressed, I still cannot stop thinking sometimes, I still relive all the shit from the past on a regular basis but I can plan for the future, I no longer want to die. I finally can see that I am not as worthless as I have been led to believe and that the actions of my ‘family’ have been extremely wrong on many occasions. Being loved doesn’t solve everything but it certainly makes things easier!