Thank you

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jecie, Jun 5, 2013.

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  1. Jecie

    Jecie Active Member

    I just want to say thank you to everybody who cared and replied to my posts, when I was so deep in depression. Even when I read other threads, I can see that the forum consists of supportive, level-headed people who are always ready to help.

    It's been 13 years since my Bipolar diagnosis. I've been through meds and therapists and psychiatrists for the whole part. My husband and I now want children, but I am sooo scared I'll pass on this mental affliction to him/her.

    Lately I have been struggling with stabbing pain in my chest, nausea, weakness and fatigue. I had to go for a bunch of tests at the hospital today and everything came back normal. I'm fed-up. I'm not imagining it and I'm tired of all the tests. I do want to get past this. I just don't have the energy. I was sitting in the dressing bay waiting for one of the tests to begin and found myself praying earnestly that they will find an aggressive cancer that will take me to heaven fast. I don't have the guts to kill myself, but if it were something policies will pay out and my husband will be set for life. He worries about me so much when I admit to him that I'm not fine.

    I know we all sit on different places in the world, tonight I really wish to change my attitude towards life and remind myself that it is not my time.

    I'm so sorry to bug you guys.
    Thanks so much for a forum like this.
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am glad you have found the support here helpful in some ways. Please do not let the diagnosis or lack there of of a single Dr make you doubt if you are having physical health problems. Whether they have a different source or are a result of stress they still need to be treated so make noise until a Dr listens and treats you. :hug:
  3. Jecie

    Jecie Active Member

    Thanks NY. I made another appointment with a doctor. I will put up my diagnosis online tomorrow. I really feel that if we lived closer to each other I would run over and give you a hug. Thank you so much for your reply.

    I do think I need to take leave from work and just re-energise. I am just extremely tired and soar.

    Again, thanks so much for this!
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you went and got all those test done hun STress depression can cause so many physical ailments but unless you rule out medical ones then one cannot be sure
    Taking time for YOU is important hun and if you have to leave work then do so ok hugs
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: I am glad SF has helped you and hope it will continue to. You mention you're suffering from nausea..I'm wondering, is that anxiety related? I ask 'cos anytime I get extremely anxious the first thing I feel is overwhelming nausea. Good luck to you xoxo

    we're always here for you :)
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You are so brave and wise to be accessing others have said, first have an evaluation to see if any physical condition can be causing your pain, and then, continue to seek counseling so that you can have what you want in the future...also remember, you are not 'bugging' anyone here...we are glad you are sharing how you are feeling...that is what we are here for...keep us posted concerning how you are doing
  7. Jecie

    Jecie Active Member

    Thank you @music, @TE and @sadeyes.

    I went to see my doctor this morning to get the results of the tests.
    The sonar showed endometriosis in stage 4, meaning we will have to schedule an operation to remove it.
    The chest x-ray showed inflammation of my rib cage cartilage.
    The rest of the tests came back with results within the normal limits for my age.

    He diagnosed me with Tietze syndrome as well and said he can prescribe pain medication, but if that doesn't work, we need to consider nuclear medicine. At least I know what it is now.

    Gosh, I am sooo tired. Wish I could just sleep it off.

    Thank you Guys!
    I really appreciate the replies.
  8. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Sorry these things are wrong but once diagnosed, it can be taken care of...wishing you the best
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