Yesterday, after I wrote the post, I looked at the other posts on here. Wow, so much pain is written on this forum. Each new post was just as important as the last. I read all I could until I finally found sleep.* I made a mistake yesterday by writing that the words of comfort are "just to ease your mind." I felt the reasons why you reply with those caring and loving words. You can't help but show compassion to someone hurting so much. *The lonely people effected me most but every post touched my heart and I felt like throwing my arms around each and every person to make them feel the love and comfort they are in such great need of.* It made me think back to when I was young, you know that 10 year old inside of us that can't wait for the adventure of life, who doesn't fully understand that it gets difficult as we grow older. The one that *has dreams of becoming whatever their hearts desire. The kid that doesn't see any limitations on who they can be. Hasn't lost the people they love most and whose heart isn't scarred by disappointment, sorrow or worry. *The one not concerned about how to pay the bills or feed their family. When did we lose that feeling? Why did it stop? We all felt it at some point. It didn't leave us but our thoughts are so clouded by pain that we have a difficult time being able to see it is still there. That same hope is still within each of us. You just have to find it again. Remembering that time made me smile. It actually made me hopeful in a strange way. No we can't go back but why can't we try to move forward with that same outlook. We don't have to forget what has happened but we can let go of some of the pain that came with it. * Letting go doesn't diminish the fact that we've struggled but I think now it might ease the burden of living it day after day *just a bit.* Think back to when you were filled with optimism, when you knew no boundaries. Remember that feeling for just a moment and don't dwell on the fact that your life didn't go as planned. That those dreams didn't come true and that life isn't perfect. But think that today and every day in the future holds a new beginning for you.* You can be 80 or 18 and feel like everything is lost but tomorrow will still be there and you can still hope no matter how old you are.* I don't know what the future has in store for me. I don't know if I will kill myself or not. But I can thank each one of you for sharing your stories and your pain. You are all very special even if you don't see that for yourself. And when you feel depressed just try to remember that kid within you that had so much hope and remember that just because you are older, it doesn't mean that the hope went away.* I'm going to look into getting some help. Until yesterday I wasn't open to it. If that works, then great. If it doesn't then I'll look at my options at that time. I still believe it is our own choice and one we should be allowed to make but maybe there is time left and things can get better. Maybe I can hope for another day that things might turn around. *Maybe death is not the only option just yet. Thank you for caring and I hope things are better for all of us in the future.