To all who have responded to my postings, I am very grateful for your support and encouragement. I have read most of my postings, and I realized I always have one theme...suicidal ideations. I know I sound like a broken record but believe me, your responses have kept me grounded. I read other people's postings and it is rather comforting to know that many, many people are going through the same issues like I do and they get help too. It is a safe place to vent without being threatened to go to the hospital just because I have suicidal ideations. You guys give me a chance to reflect and think about what I shared and you guys remind me to use my coping skills and to think rationally. Without this forum, I would have ended in psych hospitals and even hurt myself again. Somehow, this site has helped me tremendously and I give kudos to all of you. Until next time, good bye.