thankful

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Beautiful Disaster, Mar 12, 2009.

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  1. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    First of all I would like to thank people on here for the support.

    I took an overdose yesterday morning and when I started to feel chest pain, I realized that I didnt want to die, I just wanted things to stop.
    I called my mom and she called an ambulance because she lives 2 hours away from me.
    At that point in time I felt ok, and i had a huge argument with the ambulance people about going (i feel really ashamed about that right now)

    After I arrived my parents arrived, and I started to lose conscience on and off. My eyes turned red and my legs were shaking like crazy (my mom told me, all i remember is that i wanted to sleep)
    My heartbeat raised over to 170 while I was sleeping and I got transport to another hospital. And stayed there for 26 hours in the intensive care.

    Im back home now, at my parents.
    I had a huge fight with one of my best friends this week and we kind have been ignoring eachother since. My teacher told her what happend and that friend texted me that she needs counselling now.

    I am so sorry for draggin people in to my mess. That never was my intention.
    I hope that I wont lose more people over this.

    Today is my birthday. I never ever thought I would wake up on my birthday on the IC, wired to computers.
    I am happy i am still here, and given another change at life is more than I could wish for for my birthday.

    It's gonna be a long road and hard but im gonna try to make things, starting with myself, ok again.


    Ha, now I am boring you all with this..


    take care
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Sage I'm glad you were able to get help and to the hospital. It must be such a scary feeling to start then realize you dont want to. And then praying that the help arrives in time. But you have shown yourself that your will to live is so strong and now you need to hold on tight to that. Start taking the steps you need to get further along the path you are on. And you are always welcome here for care and support. You cant scare us off that easily (lol). Good luck hun.


    Oh and Happy Birthday!!!!
     
  3. SadPandaBear

    SadPandaBear Well-Known Member

    I'm glad to hear you're alright, had us worried about you there! :smile:

    Happy birthday!
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Sage,
    I can relate to being in the hospital on your birthday.. I spent three years in a row in the hospital on my birthday..At least my sister cared enough. She showed up each birthday with cherry cheese cake for everyone..What a sis!! My last OD when I woke up the next day my hands, feet , and ankles were swollen up twice the size of normal..They admitted me right away because they were concerned about my heart..I haven't tried since then, came close a couple of times but always managed to pull back and then I would have my self admitted to the hospital until it passed..I guess the moral of this is don't be afraid to go into the hospital, they will ensure your safety..
     
  5. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Happy Birthday Sage. I'm glad you are still here to see it. Best wishes.:smile:
     
  6. BlueWind

    BlueWind Well-Known Member

    Hey Sage, u r not boring anyone here...i think we're all in a bloody mess here, otherwise we'd be elsewhere...
    I am so happy that you exist in this unkind world (you are "kindness in the hard crowd, at the party")
    I'm v. happy we've become friends...
    I didn't know u before your Birthday ...so i send u a belated greeting, wishing u love, peace & happiness :smile::hug: xOx
     
  7. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    You've made a wise decision and given yourself another chance to make life right. I'm truly happy for your choice and your contined presence on this site. You have my best hope and wishes!
     
  8. myescaperoute

    myescaperoute New Member

    i know what you mean, as soon as i took an overdose i thought ' i don't want to die '
    and i hate pain, i thought it would be painless but i was throwing up so violently, it was horrible :(
     
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