thanks a lot....NOT

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by among the stars, Oct 15, 2011.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    today....well now its yesterday was a shitty day...woke up late and was an hour late for work at the barn i was so fricking pissed off. then fell trying to walk down the ramp to the lower half of the barn (which was wet from the rain) and popped my shoulder out (which i had to pop back in myself) then walked around all day exhausted and ready to collapse. Then got yelled at for being late getting home (it would have been better just to have grammie hit me then go thru that kind of verbal abuse) then twisted my ankle again (which is really killing me now and i dunno why), back still hurts from getting hit by Frosty (saddlebred horse). Tried not to cry thinking about my baby boy and whats gonna happen if the "descion" ever had to be made. Then tonight my mama visited my friend who is a medium...maybe this seems crazy to all of u but its not crazy to me...i miss my mama with all my heart....but seeing that mom knows all that happening i feel more guilty than anything else...and then i feel more guilty cuz the woman who helps me, she doesnt know everything....there are some things i left out and i know its gonna hurt her if i told the truth but if i dont tell teh truth its gonna kill me inside but its killing me already....

    i know i dont talk much when i come here i just sit in a room alone...but that doesnt mean i dont feel. I feel more than i am willing to let go of because i would rather take everyone pain away or at least help then acknoldge that im having issues. i know thats wrong and not good and bothers other people but it is how i was raised.

    the only reason i am venting here is because i was ignored when i asked if i could pm/talk to someone in chat. i needed to let it out but couldnt in front of everyone...i just love how people say "u can pm anytime, im here for u" and then they are not. :(
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 15, 2011
  2. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I am online much of the time, but do not say 'you can pm/message me any time" as I know well that my life is unpredictable and a lot of the time, I might have to suddenly take off - not something that is good when you are trying to console or help someone through a tough time, when it makes them feel suddenly abandoned halfway through a conversation.
    But when I am online, I do try my best to be online as long as someone needs me however I am not the most qualified person to help in certain cases, nor am I the most popular of people here, which might explain why everyone goes off to their own circle of friends.
    Sorry to hear if your bad day; at least nothing worse coul possibly happen to you!
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Broken I'm sorry you've had a bad day and hurt yourself ..
    I wish I could make your pain go away..
    I do understand about missing your Mum and I believe our lost loved ones are still able to contact us....
    take care **hugs broken**