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Thanks for being here

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I suffer from a rare form of depression that leads to other problems in my life and becomes harder to cope with everyday situations. At the moment I am cycling through suidcidal thoughts, and behaviour, my speech is becoming difficult, and my paranora is climbing through the roof, as well as loosing the capablitity to be able to read people.

Reading other peoples thoughts reminds me I am not on my own and that other people have similar thoughts as well so i am not some sort of alien. Listening to other people, helps me to focus, I know that the support team that has been alocated to help me is doing its best but at the end of the day, they are paid to make sure that i am ok, like once was said to me 'if you commit suicide while under my care, i'll have too much paperwork to do, and I dont have the time at the moment'.

There is only one person that keeps, me going and that is my partner of twenty years who has to suffer the moods, the tears and the pain.

To him and you thankyou for being there to listen without judgement


Staff Alumni
Hi and welcome...this is a very unique community, where there is an astounding amount of support and compassion, considering how much pain others are experiencing...and NO, you are not an alien...many of us here have walked/are walking with the darkness following us...I am sure you will find someone/others here who can relate, and can show you that you are truly not alone...again welcome and please be safe...big hugs, Jackie
You can read other people's minds?
No i dont mean mind reading. What I mean is the I cannot read, peoples faces for emotion any more. When you meet someone you automatically read their faces to show their mood, eg happy face, sad face, angry, sad. I can no longer do this all faces to me appear aggressive and angry.
Again, I should have said that it hurts my hands to type long posts. Sometimes I'm misunderstood, and thought to be rude, when I'm anything but.

Edited: because we were posting at the same time.
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