I found this forum last night when I was really upset. I have not ever posted very much on forums, I am too fragile emotionally to deal with them. I really appreciate the private welcomes and hope to someday be able to tell my story . Right now I am mostly lurking, it is comforting to know I am not the only person who has these issues. I don't even know where to start about my illness and dealing with it ( or not dealing). talking and typing about it is very awkward for me. Anyway thanks and I hope to get to know you all better and some day be a helpful resource to others.