Wow, I can´t really explain how much all the words of support meant to me last week when i published a message. Nevertheless, I can´t carry on. Today I met with 2 doctors and a nurse since the meds they are giving me seem not to be helping and I am terribly suicidal. They agred not to send me to a hospital so I was permitted to go home. I am planning to kill myself tonight. I have the means, I have been collecting them for several weeks. Thanks to all those of you who encouraged me to stay. But I have to say goodbye.