Hi - I think I need to be done here, on SF. I'm really in bad, bad place. I can't seem to shift and change and get out of this. I know I've done it before and I know it's possible and could happen. It just doesn't feel like it atm. I come here hoping for something and I know people try. I also know many struggle with so much and my expectations are incorrect. So many are suffering and I don't want to take up that space/energy as it's unfair. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what is going to help this time. I'm really trying or I think I am. Maybe I'm not, just fooling myself. Nothing is helping. Last night was the closest I've been in a while. It's ridiculous, I am ridiculous. anyhow, for now I think I need to go. I'm repeating myself but not explaining all, sorry.