that feeling... that awful feeling

It never really leaves... because no matter how good things apparently are, there's always something that goes horribly wrong, or someone who feels like they can treat me like crap...

I hate it, I hate this feeling of loneliness, of emptiness, of being just a burden for everyone, something everyone can use and put away when they are done, but that nobody can have any feelings towards to... I know I'm ugly, and useless, but I always try my best to be nice... something that it's worthless, being nice just means everyone feels they have the right to take advantage of you, it's useless...

Some people were born to be happy, to be part of other people's lives... and some are just leftovers nobody wants, I know I'm of the latter, everyone makes that clear to me every single day.

I don't want to keep going like this... I'm only alive because I lack the funds xxxxxxxx and just end it all in a 100% safe way knowing I won't be back worse... a life seeing your dreams, even the smallest ones, stomped on every day... this isn't worth living... nobody wanted me 7 years ago, nobody wants me now, nobody will want me no matter how long I wait...

 

I do not have any words of wisdom (humbly submitted!) tonight, other than to say you are wanted here and I wish I could send a real hug, instead of this cyber one...big hugs, J

 

Hi you i can relate to that feeling you have not being wanted being throw away. I want you to hear me okay YOu are not worthless your are SPECIAL you do matter and one day you will find someone that cares okay I care and i don't want you to let these people have any power over you okay The words they throw at you are because they are uncomfortable with themselves they have o belittle you, You can pm me anytime okay iunderstand the pain and sadness you feel but know all those words in your head are wrong okay YOU are special and i for one care about you hugs

 

Hi there I can relate a lot I recantly lost my partner and since then I have felt like the only person that wanted me I will never have back she was my soul mate and I have lost her, ontop of that I have been diagnosed with MS a terminal disease which I have been told by my doctors means I will not live to see past 50 if I'm lucky and I have massive debt but anyway thats all my problems I'm here to say please don't do it its not worth it I recantly attempted and failed and after failing I had many thoughts first of was why did it not work and after that came the family and friends thoughts I mean I wrote them a letter a big 4 page long 3500 word long one with all my feelings my thoughts and everything and after seeing what it would of done to them seeing it from there side I feel like it was the most selfish thing I ever tried to do in my life even though I believe its a choice and down the individual and no one else but either way I would just like to say please don't its not painless like they say it fing hurts physically and emotionally even if you succeed all your friends your family your loved ones they will never get over it.

 

they will get over it quite easily... most of the people I've ever called friends couldn't care less about me... the ones I've ever considered the closest can go months without talking to me, in fact for all some of them know I could be dead already and they couldn't care less...

I don't blame them though, the fact that despite making new "friends" and meeting new people over the years ended up with the same thing means I am the problem, not them... I'm unlikable and unlovable, a leftover nobody wants in their life, as I said before...