How the Hell am I expected to recall all those memories without being triggered!!! And if it's this bad now, what is going to happen at the trial? Today reliving my 1st attempt in such depth, God I want the peaceful feeling back. The one my lawyer drug out of my past!!! Tomorrow all the details and what happens to me when I experience each of my mental health issues and Friday back to the rapes and abuse!!! Saturday , if we still arent prepared for the trial. Sunday? Me sitting in a corner drooling from the my mouth, banging my head against the wall and telling them over and over again I DONT and CANT DO THIS!!!!!! WTF!! Why cant they hear me!!