I hate this part. Where the frustration seems so bloody annoying you need a vent. Even though it's for real issues, just knowning that no matter what anyone says it won't help the situation. And voicing them will make you look even more stupid and insecure and even possibly fuel the bloody issue.. So I have to bottle them up and ride the waves that they produce. And bywaves I mean waves, where I can calm them down, and then they come back again, like a wave heating up and flowing over my body and mind to the point where it's like a mini head rush of desires and irrational feelings teasing and tormenting me to flow with them. Instead, having to sit here, let them crash against me, and pull me back just a little further. I suppose the only comfort is that the more they crash and the more I stand up against them the larger I am to these waves to the point where I can conceal them and rationally rip them apart and choose which position I want to be in relation to them. .. Those self created fictional dillusional desires FUCK I WISH IT WAS REAL.. ALL OF IT................... And then getting over it.