That Night

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by kindtosnails, Nov 6, 2006.

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  1. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    This has got nothing to do with anything really, well no it has..just realsied how that sounded. yeh it has. but been trying to write it for weeks and weeks..dont think its done but its a start..


    Alone.

    In this strange city,
    Wind eats at my face -
    No coat.
    No. Left it.
    Freeze before morning comes?
    No. Don't think.
    Bones, teeth chattering.
    Shiver.

    Deserted -
    Wrong turning.
    These walls graffiti'd,
    Barred windows.
    Cage.
    Metal.
    Keep them in?
    Out?
    Who?

    That man,
    Across the street.
    Snarls - animal
    He's following,
    Crossing,
    Faster,
    Faster,
    No. Don't run
    Calm. It isn't happening - nothing's real.

    Destination - another disappointment
    Nowhere.
    Alone on this night
    In this strange city

    Home-
    My warm flat, my cosy duvet,
    People all around, not strangers, they have faces
    But its the same.
    Same fear.

    Alone.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2006
  2. There but for the grace of God go I - your poem reminds me, though I'm very, *very* sad, that there are those worse off than myself, and that we are all one. Your words are *most* powerful - I am almost ashamed, yet I know I should not be. Wicked writing, most awesome... Many of us are alone in our own way... You make me wanna go to my bed and hide, and be justified. Some have no choice...but we still fear...

    FAL1
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2006
  3. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni


    ok im beginning to feel pretty stupid..explanation? i should tell you i generally skim read everything because of lack of concentration and i really dont understand what youre trying to say..sorry :unsure:
     
  4. I was only saying your words were *very* powerful. Scary, unnerving. They make me feel guilty for having a roof over my head and yet still feeling so bad. But I've just had different crap happen to me. There are many different kinds of hell...

    No worries what I think anyway - as has been pointed out here many times, it's the voice of the narrator that matters. Interpretation is individual and cannot be controlled...

    Your poem was moving, grand, awesome

    FAL1 (I hope that made sense)
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2006
  5. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    oh no thats fair enough, im just too stupid to understand what you wrote lol. im not sure i got across what i meant to in it though. oh well, maybe try again. interpretation is individual sure but its meant to be about a specific thing, hence the title.
     
  6. Shite - you're not stupid! (please don't ever say that) I just write in a roundabout way sometimes! Your words were a great insight into being out on the street - at least that's what I gathered - and the irony of your "cozy duvet" (and the same fear - just in a different place) - it really struck me. I still say it was powerful...

    (don't mind me anyway - I'm in a bad way)

    FAL1
     
  7. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    No its ok, i just wish i could write like you..and yes thats basically what its about...in a way. so thats a relief. didnt really want to re-do it.

    dont mind me either..not great myself...
     
  8. Small grin... (unexpected...)
    Why write like me, when you can write like YOU!?


    (I DID say your words were powerful, insightful, moving...)
    You don't have to be in great shape to communicate here - that's the point. But----AHmazingly enough, more comes across here than most other places that call or consider themselves "sane"...

    Share...

    FAL1
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    awesome poem :hug:
     
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