Well it's that time of the year again. The semester has come to an end and all that is left are the final exams. This means lots of time to sit around and think or try to study and hope I can pass my classes. It's also the time to have Christmas break. I've decided that I'm not even going home this year. There is no point. It will be the same questions and same answers and same feelings of being the family loser. Add to that, the fact that I have no room to go home to and it's even more of a reason for me to stay at school. But of course, even that can't go as planned. As far as I knew I could stay in the townhouse residence I'm in with no problems. Now I find out that I have to pay extra to stay. So this means I spend more money I don't have and I may even be more alone than originally thought because those that planned on staying may not pay and instead go home. YIPPY. And with the holidays comes the fighting in other people's relationships over the stupid things and being in long distance ones. I of course get to see it all because I can't help but want to do something for friends. Especially when I can see one turning into what I have if they don't make a change soon. Finally because it's on the break, no more therapist for at least a month. Then again I don't know how well that really is turning out. I get help from her and I like having someone to talk to but everything she says is what I already know about myself. It's infuriating that I know what is wrong but I still can't change it and I seem to just be getting worse. Now I'm even getting mad at myself for not being able to be better. Fuck.