He is a lazy piece of shit junkie and he'll never change. So what difference is there between being with him or by myself? Or dead, for that matter. I have a signed blank check from another family member that I will write the amount of money on today and deposit into my account today as I decide which of three things I want to buy to kill myself. And if I change my mind before then, I'll give the money back to them. Maybe then they'll understand how miserable I am at least. I was supposed to go get my high school transcript today to send to temple but I can't do it on my own because I don't know who to talk to or where to go, and my asshole of a fiancé won't help me because he's too busy laying in bed from all the drugs he's done. Fuck life, I give up and I'll be gone soon enough.