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The 3rd year anniversary of my grandfather's death.

I miss you grandpa. You left us exactly 3 years ago today. I know we didn't get along off and on, I thought you hated me, but you revealed about a year before your death that you just cared, you wanted me to make it, you didn't like to see me hurt by the abusive ex's and people who used me. I was never anything you wanted me to be, you cared about learning and teaching classes in school and doing crossword puzzles and reading Louie Lamour books, you were proper and classy. I on the other hand dropped out of school, got addicted to drugs, got in abusive relationships, self-harm,ed and attempted suicide. I was nothing you wanted me to be. I fear I will never be what you wanted. But, more than anything I wish you wouldn't have left me after I got close to you again. I was looking at a picture today one of the pictures of me and you at the creek with my tomboy clothes and fishes, I always threw them back though. I didn't ever wanna hurt the fishes or anyone else. I wish I knew you can hear what I am writting and thinking. I love you grandpa. I miss you. :cry:


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
Caz, on the anniversary of my grandads' death I always light a candle for him at the local church.
I have done this for the last 15 years and it always comforts me.


Staff Alumni
I have a tradition for my grandmother too. She crocheted me an aghan before she died. I can still smell her hand lotion in it. I curl up with it and think of all the good times we had. And sing the songs she sang to me all throughout my childhood. Although I feel sad, I am somehow comforted and feel she is still with me. It is okay to miss him and wish he were still with you. Who knows, maybe he is. And maybe he can still hear you talking. I am thinking of you on this day. May you find some peace with your memories. :hug:

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