The Absurdity of My Life

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Lost & Lonely, Apr 25, 2007.

  1. Lost & Lonely

    Lost & Lonely Active Member

    I've been bullied. There. Now you can bloody well begin to understand why I'm feckin' miserable and find it extremely feckin' hard to have a positive attitude. But that's not the only reason. Oh no. I started college and I believe I made some real friends. The bastards abandoned me. My older brother was much like a dictator to me when I was growing up. It was all because of his Christian religion. I couldn't watch certain shows and I sure as hell couldn't dress up for bleedin' Halloween!

    I never went over to a friend's house for a sleepover. Heck, I never even had real friends. But what gets me is this certain friend that I've talked about before. SHE KNEW ALL OF THIS, yet she STILL abandoned me!* I don't get this at all! Why can't I just be happy for once? Why the misery?

    I'm back in school, but this time for a program that's supposed to help those with mental health issues on their career paths. I hear how my classmates are supposed to be supportive and that we all come from different struggles, but one thing that still hasn't changed is my alienation. I'M STILL IGNORED! When will I ever get the strength to just kill all the pain and my life once and for all?

    * I've already been told why she did, but I still think it was unfair considering what she knew.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 25, 2007
  2. Robin

    Robin Guest

    I know abandonment can be a pretty hard emotion to overcome and I have only briefly read what yiou have written in the past but if you are going to have a therpeutic relationship it is best you do so with a therapist and not a "friend".

    I say this because most people have littel stamina for the mentally ill, we take up alot of space and effort so to speask and ordinary people just aren't ready for that sort of baggage most of the time.

    I think more than ever you need someone close you can cionfide in but has clear patient carer boundaries for which you can reside in comfortably, it really does sound like you just want to talk about your problems right now and if posting here helps with that then I encourage you to do so at every opportunity you have.